


The City's Breaking Down

by yangbaes



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Light Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parenthood, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-14 23:24:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9210068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yangbaes/pseuds/yangbaes
Summary: JJ's life gets turned upside down when his relationship with Isabella falls apart. He's left feeling more alone than ever and on top of it all, he's now got a child to look after now. He figures it could be worse, but it's not like he was prepared to face this on his own.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a bit nervous about posting the fic but I hope its ok and I hope you all enjoy it. I've been working on getting chapter one written for some time now and I'm very sorry its late. This is a bit based off of a post on tumblr and I can only hope I'm doing it justice as the story goes on. The post is here: http://just-themys.tumblr.com/post/154602068142/theres-this-80s-french-song-that-i-really-like

The noise from the gala was slowly drowned out as the night went on. While everyone else seemed to be having the time of their life, JJ was lost in thought. He knew he’d messed up this season. He thought he had this in the bag, the gold was going to be his. He doesn’t know what changed but suddenly everyone became so much more of a threat than he’d initially seen them as. It was hard to enjoy the night when he was constantly replaying his mistakes in his mind.

Sadly JJ just wasn’t feeling the energetic atmosphere of the gala. He decided to take a step outside and clear his mind; maybe after that he could come back and actually have a good time like the rest of the skaters were. JJ wasn’t noticed as he slipped outside, not that he really expected anyone to be sober enough to notice.

As he stepped outside he immediately noticed he wasn’t alone. He was met with Yuri Plisetsky, this year's gold medalist. He almost cringed when he recalled how rude he’d been to the kid earlier in the season.

“What are you doing out here?” JJ asked, trying to sound friendly.

“Fuck off.” Yuri replied defensively, frowning.

“Yikes, guess you don’t like me very much.” JJ put his hands up defensively, but he hadn’t exactly been expecting a warm welcome. “Ah, look, I’m sorry if I rubbed you the wrong way at the Rostelecom Cup…”

Yuri scoffed,

“You’re apologizing? Now? You were an asshole so I can’t really say you’re forgiven but considering things… I’m not going to hold a grudge. This time.”

“I’ll consider myself lucky then…” JJ said awkwardly, “Seriously though, why are you out here and not inside? Shouldn’t you of all people be celebrating?”

“I don’t need to celebrate inside with a bunch of drunk idiots.” Yuri said, shrugging, “I already know how that goes and I’m not in the mood this time.”

“Fair enough. We’re on the same page there, I guess.”

“I thought you of all people would be getting shitfaced. But whatever, at least someone else has their shit together. Just sorry it had to be you.”

JJ decided to let that one slide; this was probably the most approachable he’d ever seen Yuri. Usually the kid was a walking talking ball of anger-- he could deal with a bit of sass as long as he had someone else to talk to. It was getting his mind off things at least. He could have been stuck with a worse person to have a conversation with...

“Your performances were great.” JJ said suddenly, “You...deserved to win gold.”

Yuri looked at him like he’d just kicked a puppy.

“What did you just say?” He asked, clearly thinking he’d heard JJ wrong.

“You earned it? You deserved the gold and I’m happy for you?”

“Wow. You aren’t drunk? What happened to...I don’t know, you being a giant narcissistic asshole?”

“Trying this new thing called modesty. Thought maybe I’d get a few more friends if I came off as more approachable.”

“You? Modest? Good luck with that!” Yuri looked like he was holding back laughter. “Seriously, where’d that come from! Can I take advantage of this before you go back to being King JJ? Tell me I’m the best skater you’ve ever seen and that I’m gonna kick ass next year in the Grand Prix Final too. Tell me I’m destined for gold.”

It was JJ’s turn to laugh.

“Ok, don’t get too carried away. Next year the gold is mine. You can be destined for silver though, if you want.”

Yuri smirked,

“That a challenge?”

“Sure, may the best skater win.”

JJ didn’t know how long he and Yuri chatted. He just knew he sincerely enjoyed it-- it was nice being able to talk to one of his fellow competitors without feeling like they secretly didn’t want him around. He knew he was missing whatever drunken shenanigans were going on inside but he simply didn’t care. He preferred talking to someone who had their wits about them. Stepping outside seemed to be one of the better choices that night.

Maybe JJ had just caught Yuri with his guard down, or maybe Yuri was just a decent person when he wasn’t being teased. Whichever, JJ wasn’t complaining. The conversation ended up being just what he needed. Even when the performances of this year were brought up, he reminded himself next year would be his year. He’d just have to try his absolute best, Yuri would be right behind him after all.

Eventually, Yuri’s phone going off broke up the conversation.

“Ah, it’s Otabek.” He muttered, checking his text message. “Oh. Looks like I’m going.”

“It’s getting pretty late.” JJ mused.

“Mmhm. This has been...good. Surprisingly. You’re better when you’re not being an asshole.”

“You’re better when you don’t look like you want to punch everything.”

Yuri gave him a look but it didn’t stick. Instead he just shrugged responded to Otabek’s text. JJ hesitated a moment before speaking again.

“Wanna exchange numbers?”

“...Sure. I have to send you reminders that I’m going to kick your ass next year.”

JJ laughed but didn’t say anything against it this time. He got his phone out and the two exchanged numbers before Yuri left to go find Otabek. JJ couldn’t help but feel like he was in a much better place than he had been earlier that night. Even if this year hadn’t been his best, he was looking forward to next year. He was determined to win.

  
Only, he didn’t know that life had other plans for him in the coming year.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following JJ and Yuri's pact to be rivals in the upcoming skating season, JJ wants to prepare as soon as possible. He's determined to surprise everyone and win the gold. Unfortunately life has different plans for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little late but I'm glad to have it finished! It's been beta read by two different people so I hope it's a good second chapter to this story. There's a panic attack later in the chapter if that bothers you, so this is the warning for that. This year in the story should be done next chapter. I just didn't want this chapter to be two long so I'm splitting it up.

Following the new year, JJ immediately worked on his skating for the coming season. He knew his skating was solid, but that was only part of what made a winner. He needed a winning theme, winning costumes, winning music. He had time but he really didn’t want to waste a second that could be spent preparing himself.

Isabella was at his side trying her best to give him ideas and inspiration. JJ loved that about her. He loved how she would stand by him and his skating and do everything she could to help. It was part of why he truly thought she would be his wife one day. For every step she was with him, he’d find a way to thank her. Most of these ways involved him dedicating evenings to pleasing her in all the ways he knew how-- something he definitely didn’t mind.

On top of trying to prepare himself early, JJ also tried to keep up with the other skaters. Especially ones he knew he’d be seeing again in the finals. Yuuri Katsuki seemed occupied with his own fiance, and speaking of Victor he was preparing to come back to the rink this year. Christophe was a given, JJ knew that. He didn’t need to talk to Chris to know he’d be skating again.

His train of thought went too many places to count as the day progressed, but JJ was treated to a surprise later that day when he was relaxing at home. A message from Yuri Plisetsky-- his sort-of rival. JJ briefly wondered if that was the appropriate title for their newfound friendship before shrugging the thought away and opening the message.

It was a picture of Yuri skating, seemingly hard at work.

“He wasn’t kidding when he said he’d remind me.” JJ laughed.

He typed up some witty reply and carried on with his day. Isabella was out with her parents that day so he had time to himself. He hated to spend it lazing around but...he couldn’t think of anything better to do. He was tired and bored so in the end he settled for watching TV. JJ swore he could have fallen asleep but his phone ringing woke him right up.

“Shit- Hello?” JJ nearly dropped his phone as he answered and mentally smacked himself for not even checking who had been calling.

“ _ Leroy _ !” An out of breath voice on the other line practically yelled.

“Yuri? You’re calling?”

“Obviously I am, idiot,”

“First a picture now you call? Is this your way of courting me?”

“Courting? What do you--- Wait!  _ No _ ! Mila sent that picture, I didn’t have anything to do with it!”

“And here I thought you were thinking about me.”

“I’m thinking about kicking your ass about now!”

JJ rolled his eyes.

“So did Mila make you call too?”

“No.” There was a small pause while Yuri seemed to think over what to say next. “I’m just making sure you knew it wasn’t me who sent the picture.”

JJ hummed but didn’t buy it. Maybe Yuri really hadn’t sent the picture but it seemed like he was definitely using it as an excuse to talk. He could have easily just sent a text or not even bothered to clarify who sent the picture at all.

“I had to fight her for my phone back so the least you could do is talk to me.” Yuri snapped, bringing JJ’s thought process back to the conversation at hand.

“Right, right. So that’s why you sound so tired?”

“Yeah, she’s so fucking annoying.” Yuri sighed, “Anyways. You aren’t slacking are you?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it. I have to beat you this year, remember?”

Yuri actually laughed at that.

“I remember saying you can have silver. And please actually get the silver medal because Victor and Yuuri are too annoying to deserve it this year.”

“Have you been practicing with them?”

“No, thank god. But they keep bothering me with wedding plans. Like I even care.” Yuri complained. “I have better things to do.”

“That’s true. You could help me plan my wedding instead,” JJ teased. “Or find a nice girl for yourself. Who’s this Mila person anyways? Your girlfriend?”

“ _ Mila _ ? She doesn’t even--  _ I _ don’t--  _ No _ ! I’d rather help with the wedding planning than even think of her like that!” Yuri fumbled over his words a bit in his defense and said something JJ couldn’t understand, something in Russian most likely, “You aren’t funny.”

Yuri being offended didn’t stop JJ from laughing, though.

“I think I’m hilarious. So does Isabella.”

“Isabella has poor taste in men.”

“ _ Oww _ , my ego,” JJ whined.

“Oh get over it,”

“Harsh.” JJ said, laughing.

He was sidetracked by the sound of the door opening and closing. JJ sat up on the couch and was met with Isabella. She smiled and waved, setting down some bags she’d been holding.

“Speaking of Isabella.” JJ said, smiling at his fiance.

“Yuck I can hear the romance in your voice. Get off the phone.”

“Aw you’re no fun Yuri. One day--”

“Yeah, yeah, nice talk. Torment me some other day. Bye.”

Yuri didn’t wait before hanging up. JJ shrugged and tossed his phone to the side so he could give Isabella all of his attention. She told JJ about her day and he told her he didn’t do much aside from talk to a friend. They spent the night finding new ways to tire each other out.

Talks with Yuri weren’t a normal thing and JJ hadn’t expected them to be. Yuri was in Russia and he had a life of his own. People actually in Russia to worry about. But he appreciated the short messages he got every now and then. It made him excited for the coming season.

Eventually JJ branched out a bit himself and took to talking to some of the other competitors over social media. Phichit was nearly always online, which made JJ wonder if the man ever slept.

After January ended, February proved to be rather uneventful. Valentine’s day was the highlight of the whole month as he had set aside the whole day to be with Isabella. His goal was to spoil her the entire day and he liked to think he did a good job at it. She enjoyed the fancy dinner they’d gone out for and definitely enjoyed the treat JJ had waiting when they got home. She had no idea how JJ had found the time to set up the bedroom to look like something out of a cheesy romance film, but he’d done it. She wasn’t complaining.

The rest of the month had gone by smoothly and led into March. March kicked off with a definitely not sober call from Yuri, something JJ would definitely not be forgetting any time soon. He’d heard Victor laughing in the background and what sounded like Otabek telling Yuri not to trip again. He remembered Yuri saying “Beka, I’m fine,” followed by what sounded like the phone falling and more laughing from Victor. The next day there had been a text from Yuri, something about threatening JJ’s life if he ever brought up what happened.

Things had gone normally up until the middle of March. Isabella hadn’t been feeling well the past few days but JJ had thought nothing of it. Isabella insiste he keep practicing and said she could take care of herself for a few days. JJ hadn’t argued. He’d gone out and done his usual routine for the day. He was on his way home when he received a call from Isabella.

“Honey?” He’d greeted when he answered the phone, “You doing ok?”

“I’m...I don’t know. I need you to come home.” Isabella sounded upset.

JJ frowned.

“I’m on my way right now. Did something happen?”

Isabella sighed.

“Yes? I just...we need to talk. This is important.”

“Ok, ok I’m almost there. Do you want to stay on the phone with me?”

Isabella had said yes even though the pair didn’t talk much at all while JJ was on his way. JJ felt anxiety rising but he tried to shake it off. If Isabella was on the phone with him, it couldn’t be that bad. He managed to hold off any freaking out until he got home and opened the door. He hung up his phone and was immediately greeted by Isabella on the couch.

He didn’t waste a second in going over to her and sitting next to her.

“What’s going on?”

“I’m...I’m pregnant.” She said quietly.

JJ felt a thousand things at once. First shock, shock was the most prominent thing for the next few seconds. At first he thought ‘that’s not possible’ but quickly threw that out the window. It was entirely possible and he knew he shouldn’t even be surprised. The two had sex often. It was something neither of them were shy about. They were careful, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t happen. The second thing he felt was some form of the shock mixed with joy. He may not have planned this, but it was happening and he didn’t mind it really. He liked kids. He always knew he’d want a kid of his own when he was older.

And then immediately he reminded himself he wanted a kid when he was older. He’d always fancied the idea of fatherhood when he was either well into his twenties. Not when he was nineteen. God, he was only nineteen. It only got worse in the following moments. He felt worried, guilty, and anxious. It only took a few more seconds before that anxiety burst.

“JJ,” Isabella’s voice soothed, “JJ, sweetheart, calm down,”

JJ could feel himself shaking and he wished it would stop. He wished everything would stop and slow down so he could sort out how he was feeling and how he  _ should _ feel. He wanted to sit down and think but he couldn’t. He couldn’t when his chest felt so tight and he couldn’t breathe.

“I can’t-- I can’t breathe.”

“JJ, it’s ok, look at me honey.”

“No, no, I can’t breathe, I can’t…” JJ’s voice cracked. “ _ I’m sorry.. _ .”

“Don’t be, shh...” Isabella gently placed a hand on JJ’s back, “Can you focus on breathing for me?”

“I can’t--!”

“You can, just in and out, ok?”

JJ nodded, though he had no idea how the hell he was going to do it. Breathing seemed impossible right then.

“Ok, breathe in for just a few seconds. Can you do that? Good, now slowly breathe out. In and out…”

She spoke to him as he repeated the process a few more times until he could match the pace she was setting. They sat there for a few minutes as JJ continued to calm himself down, slowly but surely. Isabella gently ran her fingers through his hair and he found it helped him calm down even more.

“...I’m sorry.” He finally spoke.

“Don’t be.”

“I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”

“There’s no way you should or shouldn’t have reacted. I didn’t react any better when I found out.”

“...you were alone. I’m sorry I wasn’t here…”

“JJ don’t apologize when you didn’t know…” She leaned over to kiss him gently before leaning back and trying to smile, “It’s better we get it out now so we can talk about what to do next, right?”

JJ simply nodded and decided to let her lead the conversation. He didn’t know where to begin.

“So… I’m pregnant.” She stated again, “I went out earlier and bought a test...and it came back positive. I didn’t know what to feel at the time. I still don’t, if I’m honest.”

“...Yeah, I um. I don’t know. What to feel, that is.”

“A part of me is a little happy...but a part of me is really, really scared.”

“That sums it up…”

“You’ve been open with me about wanting children in the future.” Isabella started, “But right now...we’re both so young. You’re skating and because of that we both travel so much. I don’t know if you’d want to go ahead with this anyways or…”

“...Do you know what you want to do?”

“...No.”

“I’ll support whatever you want to do.”

“This would be your baby too. I want to know your opinion.”

“I don’t have one, right now. This is…”

“It’s a lot.” Isabella finished for him. “It’s...a lot.”

JJ nodded. They sat in silence for a moment before JJ spoke up again.

“I love you. No matter what we do about this, I love you.”

“I love you too JJ.”

In the following days, JJ stayed with Isabella so they could sit down and talk about what they wanted to do as well as their worries and doubts about the future. Of course they told both of their parents after they had a chance to process the news themselves. Everyone was as supportive as they could be, but it was JJ and Isabella’s choice in the end.

After considering everything and discussing it extensively, the two decided they wanted to give parenthood a shot. They went public with the news later that week when JJ posted a picture on his instagram and explained in the caption Isabella was pregnant. He also announced he would be taking the season off so he could be with his fiance every step of the way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ's life begins to fall apart and it leaves him unsure of how to view the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early Update! This chapter was beta read by YunaDragneel. Things get a bit sad this chapter and honestly, things will continue to get sad in the next few chapters I think. Oops?

A couple of hours after posting the picture, he received several messages from Phichit and a few of the other skaters. Most were simple congratulations though Phichit’s were more excitable and centered on the fact he didn’t have the chance to beat JJ this year at the Grand Prix Final.

Pretty standard but still appreciated. Then of course were the expected messages on social media from his fanclub members. Most of them were also congratulatory, which made JJ smile. What he didn’t expect was a message from Yuri, “Call me. Now.”

JJ did as told and Yuri picked up almost immediately.

“You knocked your girlfriend up!” Yuri accused, “Have you heard of condoms?!”

“Whoa there tiger,” JJ was a bit taken back by Yuri’s greeting, if it could be called that, “We use condoms, to clarify… Just the world had different plans for us?”

“Different plans.” Yuri scoffed. “You did this on purpose.”

“I can assure you I didn’t.” JJ frowned at the memory of how he’d initially reacted. It wasn’t something he was proud of, but it was in the past now.

“No, you did this on purpose because you knew you’d lose to me again.”

“Yes I went so far as to get my fiance pregnant so I could get out of having to skate against you in the Grand Prix Final.” JJ said sarcastically, “The logic behind this isn’t flawed at all.”

Yuri was quiet for a moment.

“...You were supposed to be my rival.” He said in a softer tone, “Now I’ll just have to beat katsudon. _ Again _ .”

“There’s always next year. We’re still young.”

“What if being a father makes you  _ soft _ . Did you think of that?”

“Soft?”

“You’ll lose your bite and you won’t be any fun to skate against.”

JJ scoffed.

“You think so little of me! What would the fans think if I went soft on everyone! No, no, after I return next year I’ll just have to work even harder. Everyone will underestimate me but in reality I have more to skate for than ever. Now  _ that’s  _ JJ style!”

Yuri broke out in a fit of laughter. JJ couldn’t help but smile and feel proud of himself. The kid was always such a grouch so to make him laugh was an accomplishment.

“Right, right. I was wrong to be worried. You of all people won’t go soft. Oh, congratulations on the baby, I guess.”

“Thanks, I guess.” JJ replied. “No but seriously. Thanks.”

“Mmhm. Next time put a rubber on.”

“I did-!”

“I don’t care. Oh, before I go, make sure you watch this year’s finals. I’m going to win gold whether you’re skating or not. Just thought you should see it yourself.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for anything. Except maybe my baby being born but let’s hope that he’s not born during the finals.”

“Wouldn’t that suck.”

“I think it would be kind of symbolic.”

“Leroy, if you miss me winning gold, I’m flying to Canada to kick your ass myself.”

JJ didn’t doubt that he would. The conversation ended shortly after, but it did leave JJ feeling just a tad upset that he wasn’t competing this year. He felt he had a lot to prove this year, but he knew he couldn’t forgive himself if he put his skating above Isabella. He loved to skate but Isabella was his priority right now. There was always next year, he reminded himself.

JJ liked to think the beginning of Isabella’s pregnancy went well. He was around often though he knew the worst was yet to come. They talked about what they’d like to do for a nursery, names for if the baby was a boy or a girl, and of course how they should adjust both of their schedules to take the baby into account. They didn’t make much progress at all in the first month, but no one expected them to have everything figured out.

As time ticked by, Isabella noticed that JJ was becoming more and more confident in the fact he was going to be a father soon. It seemed like his anxiety had almost completely left him when he spoke about their future child. She could see he was clearly excited and looking forward to the future. And at first, she swore she was too.

Later into the pregnancy, she became withdrawn. JJ didn’t know what happened or how to help and that frightened him. Isabella was someone he knew almost as well as he knew himself. It had never been too hard to find out what was wrong or find a way to cheer her up. At first he thought it was just the emotions getting to her, but if it was that then she would have spoken to him about it.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.” She’d confessed one day.

JJ had been in the middle of making the two of them dinner. He stopped what he was doing and turned to her, confused.

“About the baby.” She clarified.

“What about the baby, Bella?” JJ asked, worry clear on his face.

“I thought I accepted this. But I don’t think I have...it’s still so shocking to me. I don’t know-- I thought I had my mind made up about what we were going to do but I feel like I’m back at stage one.”

“Sweetheart…” He sighed, pulling her in for a hug, “If you’re doubting this...we need to talk about it. I’ll listen.”

“I know you will. I just don’t know what it is yet…”

“...Do you still want to have the baby?” JJ asked quietly.

“It might be too late to back out now.” She mumbled, hiding her face as she moved closer into his embrace, “But either way, I do want to have the baby. I want to try to do this still.”

JJ knew that wouldn’t be the end of the conversation, but that was all they spoke of it today. Isabella just seemed pleased to get her doubts out in the open, but JJ would be lying if he said he didn’t sit there and overthink everything she’d said that night.

He realized how much he wanted this baby and how important this was to him. If Isabella changed her mind, he wouldn’t stop her, but he knew he would be crushed after the fact. It made him feel guilty, like he wasn’t thinking about Isabella as much as he was the baby. The thoughts stayed on JJ’s mind through the next few days. Was he putting more value on this child than Isabella? Was he being a bad boyfriend for feeling how he did? If Isabella did end up not wanting the child, what would happen then?

JJ tried not to think about those options. For now, he trusted her words. She said she wanted to try and that’s what they were going to do.

The skating season was starting soon and that took JJ’s mind off of the pregnancy a bit. He wished he could be in the rink with his fellow competitors this season but he wasn’t entirely opposed to watching from his home.

The couple ended up attending Skate Canada, so JJ could at least be there for one competition even if he wasn’t participating. Isabella seemed overjoyed to see everyone and JJ found himself completely taken by how much his fellow skaters had improved. Phichit Chulanont came in first and JJ had to agree with the decision-- he earned it. He was fantastic, if JJ was being honest.

“They all looked amazing,” Isabella commented as they were leaving.

“Something to look forward to next year.” JJ said, smiling, “They won’t be easy to beat if they keep this up. And the season’s just begun.”

“Well next year they all better watch out! You’ll be back and you’ll be winning gold, I know it!” Isabella kissed JJ’s cheek and smiled brightly, “I’m so excited for next year!”

“Me too,” JJ agreed.

Things fell apart quickly after Skate Canada. Not a week after, the couple began fighting often about anything and everything. JJ could never remember what started it or what made tensions so high between them. Things had been  _ fine _ . He didn’t understand what changed.

Too often in the weeks following they had to avoid each other just to have some form of peace in the household. JJ knew it bothered Isabella as much as it bothered him. If he was confused about this turn of events, she had to be too.

“JJ.” She caught his attention as he’d been getting ready to leave to go visit his parents for the day. “We need to talk.”

JJ was tempted to ask if this could wait for later but knew that wouldn’t do any good. He nodded and waited for her to continue.

“I’ve made my mind up.”

“Huh? About what?”

“This baby. I don’t know how to say this...but I’m not ready to be a mother.”

Everything seemed to freeze in that moment.

“I thought I was ready because I was excited in the beginning. But then it just became so stressful. After I talked to you about it the first time I got to thinking and...I just couldn’t stop thinking. Skate Canada made me realize I don’t want to miss out on anything anymore. I’m not ready to be the person who could give up time for a child.”

“Isabella...I…” JJ struggled to form words, so she just went on.

“I know you’re excited about this baby. It’s why I thought I could raise this baby with you but now I’m not so sure. I don’t want this as much as you do anymore.”

“...So...what do we do. What do you want to do?” JJ barely recognized his own voice. He sounded scared and quiet. He could hardly hear himself over the pounding in his head. Isabella’s confession took him completely off guard-- he knew things hadn’t been great but he didn’t think she was still second guessing everything.

“I need you to tell me what you want, JJ. I can’t make the decision on my own.”

He frowned.

“I don’t know…” He mumbled.

“JJ, I don’t want to be a mother but I’m going to have this baby. You need to tell me if you want to keep it or...or give it up.”

“I can’t tell you what to do like that.” JJ said, avoiding looking at her.

“I’ve made my mind up about what I want to do.” Isabella admitted, “But I don’t think it’s what you want.”

“What does it matter?”

“It matters a lot!” Isabella nearly shouted, “If we keep this baby I’m going to be miserable but if we give it up I just know you’ll be unhappy and I can’t stop thinking about that! I can’t stop thinking about how we’re on such different pages here!”

“I’d give it up for you! If that’s what you want I’ll put up with it, I don’t know, I’ll find a way to live with that!” JJ was frantic, he didn’t realize his own voice was raising as he spoke.

“You won’t JJ! You won’t and the last thing I want is for you to come to hate me for this! For just going with what I say! So tell me what you want to do!”

“I want this baby more than anything right now, Isabella,” JJ was full on yelling now, “I’ve always wanted this and it doesn’t bother me that it’s happening earlier than I thought it would anymore! I don’t  _ care _ about that, I’m ready to give up everything for this baby if it just means I could get the  _ chance _ to raise it and be a father!”

Isabella stood there expressionless for a moment as she processed everything JJ said. She’d expected him to say he wanted the baby, she knew he wanted it. But she hadn’t expected him to say he was prepared to give up so much for the child.

“We aren’t going to be happy with each other no matter which outcome we choose.” She said softly, “I can’t go with what you want and I can’t ask you to just forget this ever happened so I can get what I want. This is horrible…”

“I don’t know what to do…” JJ admitted, “I don’t fucking know what to do.”

“...I don’t either.”

There was a few minutes of complete silence that followed. Neither of them dared to speak or move as the minutes passed. It wasn’t until JJ’s phone rang that they seemed to return to reality.

“It’s my parents…” He said, looking at his phone then to Isabella.

“They’re probably wondering where you are...go, we can finish this later…”

“ _ Bella _ ,”

“JJ I’m fucking clueless on what we can possibly do right now. I know you aren’t going to magically find the answer so don’t act like standing here gawking at each other will fix this.”

JJ didn’t argue with her. He didn’t know what to say right then, so he left. He left and went to his parents and felt horrible when he arrived at their home a complete wreck. He didn’t know where to begin explaining what happened, hell, he wasn’t sure if he understood what was going on completely himself. He just knew things weren’t alright and he didn’t want to go home out of fear that everything would fall apart if he did.

His parents tried to assure him that things would work themselves out, he and Isabella would come to an agreement and avoiding her wouldn’t help. He knew that but it didn’t make him feel ready for whatever the future held for him.

In the end, JJ went home late. He tried to mentally prepare himself for the conversation ahead of him. He’d already worked through every horrible scenario in his head so surely he was prepared for whatever the world threw at him.

He was wrong.

“I think we should break up.” Isabella was saying, “If you’d like...you can keep the baby and...and I promise I’ll be around. I’m not going to leave you alone like that. I wouldn’t do that. But I need my space and I need to be able to do what I want to do… I’ll help when I can and I’ll be around when I’m ready but I can’t be here all the time.”

He heard her speaking, but he couldn’t make sense of the words.

“If you raise the baby I think you’ll be happy...you’re so passionate about wanting to be a father and I’m sorry that the option I’m giving you doesn’t keep us both in the picture...but it’s all I could think of where we both get what we want…” Isabella sighed and paused for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts, “I didn’t want this to happen. I’m so, so sorry about all of this...I really thought it would be better...I thought we could do it but we can’t.”

JJ didn’t want to admit she was right.

“...JJ? Say something...please… I know this isn’t...ideal...but I’m trying…”

“I love you,” He blurted out, “I love you.”

“JJ… I love you too but we won’t be happy if we pick one side.”

“I don’t want to do this…” He admitted. “This isn’t what I wanted.”

Isabella was on the brink of tears, he could tell. He didn’t mean to make this harder for he didn’t know how else to react. He loved her, he was engaged to her, he fully intended to marry her one day. Now that was going to change. She wouldn’t be with him anymore. She wouldn’t be happy if she was and that  _ hurt _ to know.

He didn’t realize he was already crying until Isabella wrapped her arms around him tightly and began sobbing herself.

“I’m sorry,” His voice cracked horribly, “I’m sorry. I love you. I love you…”

 

Isabella gave birth to their son early in December. JJ picked the name they had decided on rather early in the pregnancy-- Henry. Henry was born perfectly healthy and JJ was able to take him home right on schedule. Isabella had already moved her things out of their shared apartment-- it made it feel a little empty but with Henry there JJ figured that would change soon.

He watched the Grand Prix Final on the TV with his son and couldn’t help but smile a bit when Yuri Plisetsky took home gold for the second year in a row.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The competitions have begun but it will be anything but smooth sailing in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update this week. One today, Sunday, and one on Thursday. This chapter is going to kick start more interactions between characters so I'm excited for what's coming!

JJ felt ready. He’d been practicing all year to prepare himself for his return to the rink. Nothing was stopping him this year-- he had his sights set on the gold. He could feel it. He was winning this year for sure. He had so much to prove after taking a year off, not only to his competitors but to himself as well.

The pain from losing Isabella was still fresh even though it had been months. She was around enough, like she’d promised, but it never felt right knowing they weren’t together anymore. JJ never complained, but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t hurt a little every time he saw her. It would be strange not having her at his side this coming season. He was so used to having her there and now it felt like he’d taken that for granted.

Even if he didn’t have Isabella, he had Henry. Henry barely understood anything yet but JJ was eager to skate for his son, even if he was positive Henry had no idea what that meant. One day he would understand and that was all JJ needed to be able to feel motivated enough to at least push the negative thoughts away for the time being.

“I can do this.” He told himself. His only response was unintelligible noises from his son, but he’d take what he could get. “Exactly, see, I’ve got this. You agree with me.”

With the season quickly approaching, he was constantly working to perfect his routines and make sure he had everything in order. The music was great, but then again he helped make it so of course it was, and his costumes were new and eye catching. His parents helped with choreographing so he felt he had this in the bag. He just had to not mess up. No pressure there.

“Nothing to worry about…” He mumbled quietly.

He was pulled from his thoughts as his phone began ringing. He quickly answered before the noise could upset Henry-- he was still quite sensitive to sudden noises.

“Hello?”

“JJ!” Yuri’s voice came from the other line, “It’s been a while.”

JJ smiled at the sound of his voice. It had been quite some time since they’d called, but they’d both been busy preparing for the upcoming season.

“It has been. You ready for the season to start?”

“Ha! I was born ready. I think I might take home gold for the third year in a row! How about

it? Sounds like a good plan, yeah?”

“Hate to be the one to knock you off your pedestal but this year I’m definitely winning gold. Been preparing all year for this.” JJ said smugly, “I hope you’re ok with getting silver.”

“Oh that’s hilarious. But you’re really all ready for the season? Good. It starts soon so I had to make sure you weren’t slacking.”

“I really have been preparing all year. I didn’t waste a day, I promise.”

“Ah, that’s good.” Yuri said, “Preparing for this season has been crazy. It’s so much crazier than last year… It’s tiresome.”

“Can’t keep up?”

“It’s not that, idiot. I took some time to train in Kazakhstan, then came back to Russia, then I had to go to Japan because katsudon and Victor physically dragged me to the airport.”

“Damn, that’s a lot of traveling before the season even starts.”

“Mmhm. I’m jetlagged to hell and back. I just got back to Russia a few days ago and I’m tired still…” Yuri sighed, “We get our assignments for this season soon though so there’s not a lot of time to rest.”

“I’d take advantage of any time you could get. I am...I’m not exactly anticipating Henry doing well travelling for the first time.”

“Oh that’s right… Your kid is going to be there. How’s he been?”

“He’s been fine. Just...being a kid, really. He’s starting to figure out what to call me, I think, so that’s something.”

“Really? He’s learning pretty fast then… He uh, seems happy in the photos you post on social media. So I think you and Isabella are doing a good job.”

JJ frowned.

“Uh...yeah...guess so…” He bit his lip and tried to figure out how to change the topic before Yuri said too much about her. JJ hadn’t told any of the other skaters that Isabella left-- it wasn’t really their business and it would have been hard to find the time to explain the situation to most of them, especially Yuri. Yuri was fairly busy the whole year so JJ decided not bringing it up had been the best option. He’d find out soon enough, but he really didn’t want to talk about it right then.

“Hey you said you went to Kazakhstan to train for a while right?” JJ asked, hoping Yuri would take the bait. “Isn’t that where your friend is from? Otabek, right?”

“Yeah, I wanted to see Beka, is that a problem?” Yuri asked, defensive.

JJ smirked. He was too easy to rile up.

“Aww you even call him Beka. You two seem close!”

“We’re best friends-- hey wait, what are you implying here!” Yuri shouted. “Leroy I swear I call to be nice and you just ruin everything!”

“I’m just throwing it out there! No need to get so offended. If there’s a little something there I’m not going to judge.”

Yuri shouted at him in Russian and JJ could only guess the things he was calling him. Nothing good, probably cursing at him a lot. JJ wasn’t bothered by it in the slightest; in fact it was hilarious to him and that just made Yuri even more angry.

“ _ Fuck you _ , Leroy,” Yuri muttered, “If I was there I’d kick your ass.”

“I don’t doubt it.” JJ said in a light tone.

“Take me seriously, asshole! You know, I would stay on the phone longer but I have better shit to do than put up with you right now!”

“You’re no fun, Yuri!”

“Fuck off.” Yuri sighed, “It’s too late to deal with this shit. I’m going.”

“Alright, alright. Have a good evening, ok?”

“Yeah, whatever. You too.”

JJ busied himself for the rest of the day but did take the time to send a few messages to Yuri-- just to tease him further. He was sure to wake up to an essay of how Yuri would torture him if he could, but it was fun to do in the moment.

It was only a few weeks later that all of the skaters got their assignments for the season. JJ saw on social media that Phichit was eagerly tweeting about his. He saw he and Phichit would both be participating in Skate Canada. It was nice to be able to have his first competition back be in Canada… JJ had hoped he’d get the opportunity and was overjoyed that he got it.

“It’ll be good for Henry,” His father had said, “He won’t have to go too far.”

JJ saw later, again thanks to Phichit, that he’d be seeing a lot of familiar faces at Skate Canada. One name in particular made him smile. He’d be skating against Yuri. It made him feel even more excited for the event.

The date of the competition quickly arrived and JJ found himself feeling fully confident that he could win. Upon arriving, he realized he’d forgotten how good it felt to be doing these competitions and how much he liked the attention. He quickly spotted the other skaters and made his way over to them.

“JJ!” Phichit greeted him, smiling, “It’s good to see you after your year off!”

“It’s good to be back.” JJ replied, “I missed this.”

“I bet! I really can’t imagine taking time off. Especially a year? I have no idea how you did it but hey, you’re back!” Phichit paused for a moment before looking JJ up and down, “You took off time for your son right? Where’d he run off to?”

“He’s with my parents right now.”

“Oh good, I thought he’d have to stop the competition to look for a missing child for a second there…” Phichit laughed. “He’s still really young right?”

Before JJ had the chance to reply, Yuri and Otabek seemed to notice him and made their way over. Well, more like Yuri dragged Otabek over but there wasn’t much of a resistance from Otabek in the end.

“JJ!” Yuri said as they got closer, “Wow it’s really you!”

“You got taller.” JJ noticed immediately, “Not by much...but still.”

Not only had Yuri gotten a bit taller, he’d let his hair grow out quite a bit as well. It was a good look on him. JJ would have to tell him that some time.

“Shut up.” Yuri snapped, “I just came over here to say hi.”

“Well, hello Yuri and hello Otabek.”

Otabek waved, seemingly disinterested in the conversation.

“Where’s your son?”

“With his parents.” Phichit answered for him, pulling his phone out to message someone, “I already asked.”

“Oh. Where’s--”

“Hey where’s your girlfriend?” Phichit asked, “I kind of expected you to talk about her and post pictures and talk about a wedding or something.”

“He’s not Victor. He’s got other things to talk about.” Yuri mumbled.

“He’s just as bad as Victor, don’t lie, which is why I’m asking. It’s weird he hasn’t posted about her.”

JJ shifted awkwardly. He didn’t expect to be put on the spot about Isabella by Phichit of all people… He probably didn’t mean any harm but it wasn’t something he wanted to think about before skating.

“What are you analyzing his social networking habits or something?” Otabek asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No I just noticed, like right now, just noticed. Nothing about his girlfriend.” Phichit said in his defense.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” JJ admitted, “Not right now.”

That caught all of their attention. It was almost as if he could see the hundred questions Phichit wanted to ask, but didn’t. JJ would thank him for not pushing later. Yuri looked confused for a moment before he seemed to figure it out. Otabek just looked uncomfortable to be involved, and JJ felt bad that he was dragged into the conversation in the first place.

“I uh, gotta go. Get ready.” JJ said awkwardly, not waiting before turning and going to find his parents. He just needed to distract himself was all…

“Hey, hey, wait!” Yuri called after him.

JJ didn’t have the chance to tell him he wanted to be alone before Yuri was at his side,

“I’m not done talking to you.”

“Look, I really don’t want to talk about Isabella right now.”

“I know.” Yuri frowned, “I’m not here to talk about her. Is it really so hard to believe I wanted to have a conversation with you before Phichit brought all that up? I don’t care about that stuff, it’s not my business.”

“Yuri…” JJ sighed, feeling relieved, “Thanks. Sorry. What did you want to talk about?”

Yuri was quiet for a moment as he seemed to figure out what exactly he’d wanted to talk about. JJ almost thought he’d followed just to provide a distraction after the conversation with Phichit turned into a disaster, but he didn’t want to jump to conclusions with Yuri.

“You’re going to go see your kid before you get ready, right?”

“That was my plan.”

“Can I see him?” Yuri seemed to ask rather awkwardly. “I don’t know how to ask about that but I’ve only ever seen pictures.”

JJ chuckled and nodded. He spotted his parents not too far away and made his way over to them with Yuri following close behind. His mother was holding Henry, who was a lot calmer than JJ had expected. He bet it was just how experienced his mother was. If he’d been holding Henry the whole time, the kid would be a mess, he’d bet money on it.

“He’s calm right now but that could always change,” His mother warned as she handed Henry over to JJ, “Be careful.”

“Got it,” JJ said as he settled his son in his arms, “Hey there buddy,”

Yuri stepped closer and looked at Henry.

“...He’s really relaxed with you…” He noted, “Of course he is, you’re his dad.”

“He’s not always relaxed. Sometimes he throws a fit… I’m expecting it to happen at least once today...when the crowd gets loud enough.” JJ explained, “But that’s not his fault.”

“He’s...cute.” Yuri admitted, “I’m honestly surprised this kid is yours...I mean, he looks way cuter than you do so I’m guessing that just skipped you and went to him.”

JJ chose to ignore the way his father tried to hide his laughter at the comment.

“Ha ha very funny. Do you want to hold him?”

“What?” Yuri looked at him, flustered, “I-- no, I can’t. I’d drop him. I mean… Well… I don’t want to hold him wrong or...hurt him...or actually drop him.”

“I’m positive you wouldn’t drop him. But you don’t have to do it if you aren’t comfortable with it. I was just throwing it out there.” JJ smiled at his son and kissed his head before handing him back to Nathalie, “We should probably start getting ready,”

“R-right.” Yuri waved nervously at JJ’s parents. “Nice to meet you?”

“It was a pleasure.” JJ’s mom said, “Now you two go get ready!”

Yuri and JJ nodded before turning and going back to where the other skaters were beginning to get ready. JJ felt much better after being able to see his son, even if it had been for a short while.

“You know…” Yuri began, “I’m still going to win.”

“Cruel. You can say that with such a straight face after meeting my son!”

“He has no idea what’s going on!”

“He will in the future!” JJ said.

Yuri scoffed.

“It’s not the future though!”

“I’m telling him you said that when he’s old enough.” JJ accused. “Right after meeting an innocent baby who’s only hope is for his father to win gold, you threatened my rightful place as the winner.”

“That doesn’t even make sense!”

“He doesn’t need to know that.”

“God, you’re ridiculous. I have no idea how we’re friends.”

“If I recall correctly...I think I just asked and you said ‘sure, I’d love to be friends with you king JJ!’ Yeah...sounds about right.”

“Wha-- I did  _ not _ say anything like that!”

“We can debate this later, but I’m pretty sure I’m right. Good luck!” JJ waved as he went off on his own to prepare for his short program. It turned out he’d be going third, so he had some time to relax and watch the other skaters. First was Phichit, but he didn’t seem at all disturbed by the fact he was going first. He seemed eager to skate and he definitely impressed.

“He just keeps improving.” JJ said, paying close attention. “He’s not making many mistakes at all.”

“Last year he got pretty close to placing.” Yuri’s voice startled JJ, “What?”

“I didn’t see you there!”

“I’ve been standing next to you for two minutes.” Yuri said, frowning.

“You’re short so I didn’t notice you.” JJ said as an excuse, “But what were you saying?”

“I said he was close to placing last year. Phichit got fourth place.”

JJ looked from Yuri to the rink as Phichit finished up his short program. Now that Yuri mentioned it, he did recall that Phichit had gotten pretty close to making third. Even with Victor back in the game, Phichit and the other skaters had impressed.

“He says this year is going to be his year.” Yuri continued, “But they all say that. Every year.”

“We all have to believe it so we can do our best.” JJ muttered, watching as Phichit left the rink.

“I know.” Yuri rolled his eyes, “I’m not stupid… Oh, after Emil you’re next.”

“And you’re after me, right?”

“Yeah and you better not take your eyes off me for a second while I skate.”

JJ smiled and gave Yuri a polite “of course,” before he turned to watch Emil skate. He recalled skating against Emil during the Rostelecom Cup two years ago and didn’t spot any major differences in his skating. As Emil’s routine came to an end, JJ prepared himself to go up next.

“Good luck.” Yuri muttered as JJ made his way to his coaches.

As JJ waited to go on the ice, he thought about the last time he skated. How he let everything get to him and how he’d panicked. He wouldn’t let that happen again. He wouldn’t feel that disappointed in himself this season. He wasn’t going to let his anxieties get the best of him.

He took a deep breath and relaxed himself.

“I’ve got this.” He reminded himself, “I’ve got my parents, I’ve got Henry… I’ve gotta beat Yuri and the others. I can do this.”

Emil left the ice, leaving it for JJ. He sighed before getting onto the ice and skating towards the center.  _ This is it _ , he reminded himself. This was the return he’d prepared himself for. Now he just had to impress the audience and the judge's… Easy. He could do that with his eyes closed.

As his music started, he felt himself get back into the groove of things. He thought about how important of a moment this was for him and it made him work harder to nail all of his jumps. He thought about his parents and Henry and he felt inspired. He thought about how he was going to prove himself this year.

As JJ landed his final jump, he couldn’t help but smile. He felt completely emotional as the crowd erupted and he saw his parents, his fan club, and his peers all looking so impressed and genuinely happy for him. He bit back tears as he left the rink. He wouldn’t deny how proud of himself he was. He knew he’d done great.

With his score, he was currently in first. That could change at any moment and he knew that, but it was hard not to be proud of himself for beating Phichit and Emil’s scores so far. He made sure not to get too far on his high horse before going to watch Yuri’s program. Yuri had won the Grand Prix two years in a row and he was only seventeen. Watching Yuri now he completely saw why he’d won.

He was amazing, simply put. The way Yuri moved was graceful yet intimidating in a way only he could pull off. It was beautiful to an audience but to a fellow competitor it let you know he was here to win. Even if JJ had wanted to, he couldn’t take his eyes away from Yuri’s performance until it was over.

He wasn’t surprised when Yuri secured first place at the end of the day. There was still free skates, but JJ could see he’d have to step it up if he wanted to win gold.

Despite being awfully tired, JJ agreed to go out for the evening when Phichit invited him and the other skaters out. After making sure his parents could watch Henry until he got back, he headed out and met up with the others. They’d all seemed to be talking to whoever they preferred already, so JJ just made a beeline for Yuri and Otabek once he spotted them, deciding to stick with what he knew.

“Thought you weren’t going to make it for a while there.” Yuri said as JJ sat down. “You did good today.”

“You too,” JJ said honestly, “You were really amazing out there.”

He didn’t miss the redness in Yuri’s face at the compliment.

“Well yeah, I was. But thanks.” He faked a cough and looked at the table. “Anyways.”

“Anyways?” JJ prompted, smirking.

“I think this is good. You know. You coming back.” Yuri admitted, “I was really looking forward to beating you.”

“What a heartfelt welcome back speech.” JJ said in a dramatic voice, placing his hand over his heart. “I’m honored to hear it from a two time gold medalist.”

“He complained a lot when you said you weren’t skating.” Otabek cut in. “A lot about how there wasn’t enough people to knock Yuuri and Victor off their pedestals, or something like that. He wanted you to stand on the podium with him.”

“I said nothing like that.” Yuri growled, “But seriously those two are so far up each other’s asses.”

“They’re married.” Otabek reminded him. “Of course they act that way.”

“Marriage doesn’t mean you need to be physically attached to each other at all times. They’re annoying.”

“They got married?” JJ asked, though it made perfect sense that the two wouldn’t wait.

“It was unbearable.” Yuri complained. “Sucking face in front of everyone. Ugh. Thank god they aren’t here. They make me sick.”

“I’m sure they aren’t that bad.” JJ said, thinking he’d probably be the same way if Isabella was still around. “They’ll calm down later. Everyone’s just excited when they get into relationships… You don’t want to let go of that person.”

“...Um. I don’t know if this is a good time. Probably not.” Yuri began, considering his words carefully, “But on the godforsaken topic of relationships...what happened with you and Isabella? You two were going to get married too, right?”

“We were engaged. We wanted to get married in a few years but… We started disagreeing on things. It didn’t work out in the end.” JJ explained.

“But you were going to have a baby together…” Yuri said, “What disagreements matter when you have a baby on the way?”

“I wanted the baby and she didn’t. We couldn’t agree on what to do about Henry. So in the end we compromised and I got Henry. She gets to live her life the way she wants.”

Yuri and Otabek were silent for a few minutes. Yuri seemed to be angry that was her reasoning for leaving, but said nothing. Otabek on the other hand just looked apologetic. JJ hadn’t expected him to say much-- the two weren’t close after all.

“That’s shit.” Yuri grumbled, “Sorry that happened…”

“It’s done now.” JJ said, shrugging. “It’s been almost a year so I’m getting used to it. I won’t

lie, it really sucked at first, but I’m...getting somewhere.”

Yuri nodded.

“That’s good. I’m happy you’ve got your shit together.”

“I like to think I have it together.” JJ smiled proudly, “Henry seems happy so far so I can only assume I’m doing something right.”

“You’re doing great.” Yuri insisted. “Really.”

Eventually the conversation shifted to something far more lighthearted. JJ was thankful for it and took charge of keeping things on a happier note. Phichit came and went, seeming to be a part of everyone’s conversations at some point during the night. JJ ended up leaving first that night, insisting that he had to go take care of Henry before heading to bed himself. Phichit teased him about being “such a dad” as he’d put it. He said goodbye to his competitors and left.

The next day JJ didn’t feel as tired as he thought he’d be. He’d stayed up a little later than he’d intended but he still felt like he could skate without any issues. He was slightly impressed with himself.

It wasn’t long after arriving that he noticed something was off. The atmosphere seemed...tense. He couldn’t place his finger on what yet, but when he went to find the other skaters he noticed it. JJ had spotted all of the other skaters but Yuri. Where was he?

“Otabek,” JJ caught the other man’s attention just as he was passing by, “Have you seen Yuri?”

“No.” Otabek replied in a quiet voice. “I’ve been trying to get ahold of him all day. He hasn’t replied to a single text or call.”

“What?” JJ frowned, clearly worried. “When did he go back to his hotel last night?”

“After I did…”

JJ tried to think. Maybe Yuri was just running late or not feeling well… But he would have at least told someone about that. Especially Otabek. The two were best friends. There was no reason to avoid Otabek’s messages if he was just having an off day.

“Guys,” Phichit’s voice caught their attention, “Have you been checking social media?”

“No, not at all.”

“It’s all over twitter.” Phichit said, “Look.”

He handed JJ his phone and the first thing he saw was the news that Yuri Plisetsky had been in a car accident overnight and was currently hospitalized. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ and the other skaters hear about Yuri's accident and go to visit him in the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to have this ready to post earlier but better slightly late than never! Thanks to my friend for reading it when they could and for the "juicy" line that appears in the fic. Next update will be next Thursday unless I find time to make an early update!

Victory had never left a bitter taste in JJ’s mouth before. This was truly a new experience and it wasn’t one he cared relive. Skate Canada went by in a blur-- JJ didn’t think anyone really felt inspired to skate after finding out about Yuri’s accident. Everyone did amazingly but the performances seemed to lack the proper emotion. The other skaters were worried and upset over what happened to Yuri. In the end it was the first gold JJ regretted winning.

He was just glad the competition was over. That way he could go and see Yuri and know what happened, what his condition was. Every article Phichit showed them before they skated was vague or jumping to conclusions. There wasn’t enough real information out there for JJ to know if Yuri was ok and the anxiety that caused was getting suffocating.

“I’m going to see Yuri in the hospital,” JJ explained to his parents quickly, “Can you take care of Henry for just a little while?”

“Sure, sure,” His mother said, nodding, “Go see your friend. We’ll be home so take your time.”

“Thank you, so much.” JJ kissed Henry on the head before going to get a taxi.

During his hurry out, he nearly ran into Phichit. Phichit had the great idea of sharing a ride so they could both be there in a timely fashion so JJ didn’t argue. The entire taxi ride there he listened as Phichit tried to explain the information to Yuuri and Victor over the phone.

“They’re freaking out,” Phichit mumbled, frowning, “I just wish I knew what to tell them.”

“How much do they know?” JJ asked as the taxi pulled up to the hospital.

“Only what those horrible articles are saying. Stupid things like ‘Yuri Plisetsky’s skating career is over!’ and ‘Yuri Plisetsky found half dead after tragic accident!’ when they don’t know anything about his condition.” Phichit explained. “They have no idea what to believe.”

“You don’t think his career could really be over though, do you?”

“I hope not...I mean, we’ll know better when we see him but right now…” Phichit sighed dramatically, “I just want those articles to be wrong.”

When they entered the hospital, Otabek was already there. JJ had expected he’d be the first person to actually make it there. The man had a worried expression on his face and JJ wasn’t sure if it was because he’d received bad news or if it was because he didn’t have any new news. He hurried over to Otabek, catching his attention.

“Anything?”

“They’re checking to see if he’s feeling up to visitors.” Otabek said quietly.

“Ok…” JJ said, “Ok. So he’s ok enough to see visitors.”

“Apparently. He’s not dead or in a coma.” Phichit piped in, earning a dirty look from Otabek and JJ.

The three sat in silence for a few minutes before a nurse came back and informed them they could see Yuri. The nurse suggested they see him one at a time, as the three of them at once could overwhelm him. Phichit and JJ didn’t mind when Otabek asked to see him first. They patiently waited for Otabek to finish talking to Yuri. 

“Do you think he’s ok?” JJ asked Phichit, pulling his attention away from his phone.

“If he can see visitors then it’s probably not that bad.” Phichit sighed, “Watch me say that and it ends up he’s not ok.”

JJ was going to say he’d rather not think about the possibility Yuri wasn’t going to be alright, but was cut off when Otabek came back to the waiting room with a bitter expression.

“What happened?” JJ asked immediately.

“He yelled. A lot.”

“Is he ok?”

“No.” Otabek mumbled, collecting his things, “I’m going. He doesn’t want me here.”

“Otabek I’m sure out of all of us, he wants you here the most.” JJ tried to say, but Otabek wasn’t listening.

Otabek made his way for the exit, not paying attention to anything JJ was trying to say. Phichit sighed and stood up,

“I’ll try to talk to Otabek. Go see how Yuri is so I can get Victor and Yuuri off my ass.” He told JJ before following Otabek.

JJ wasn’t exactly feeling confident after Otabek seemed to strike out during his conversation with Yuri. He couldn’t see Otabek as the type to say much to make Yuri get mad so he wondered what the hell happened that made Otabek want to leave so quickly. He tried to push those thoughts away and made his way towards Yuri’s room.

The first thing JJ noticed when he saw Yuri was the cast on his leg. There was a sinking feeling that immediately followed and several thoughts about how bad the injury could be flooded his mind. He noticed Yuri was covered in bruises as well. JJ didn’t know why this shocked him so much, of course he’d be a bit beaten up from the accident.

Yuri frowned when he saw JJ staring.

“Take a fucking picture if all you’re gonna do is gawk at me.”

“Sorry...I just...I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t this.” JJ explained, stepping closer to Yuri and taking the seat by his bed. “It’s weird to see you like this.”

“I fucking hate it.” Yuri admitted. “I fucking hate every minute of this.”

“I’m sure they’ll let you out soon.”

“I don’t know why I’m still here.” Yuri said, frowning, “They already took all of their stupid tests and read me a list of injuries like I understand half of what they’re saying. I’m pissed off.”

JJ nodded,

“I know. I can only imagine--”

“Fuck off if you’re here to talk to me like you pity me.” Yuri snapped, “I got enough of that shit from Otabek. I don’t want to hear about how you can only imagine my pain or how you’re sorry this happened!”

“I don’t  _ pity _ you, I’m fucking worried about you!” JJ bit back, “All we knew was that you’d been in an accident and that’s the only information any of us had for  _ hours _ . We all had to skate without knowing if you were ok or not so fucking forgive me if I’m not reacting exactly how you want me to!”

“Fuck off, Leroy,”

“No, I’m not gonna leave like Otabek did just because you want to act like a brat right now!”

“What the fuck did you just say to me--”

“I said you’re acting like a selfish fucking brat!” JJ shouted, definitely catching the attention of one of the nurses that had been lingering.

Yuri stared at him for a solid minute, seeming to take his time processing the fact JJ had just yelled at him when he was injured, lying in a hospital bed. A part of him found it hilarious but he wasn’t going to give JJ the satisfaction. Instead he scoffed and forced himself to sit up so he could talk to JJ easier.

“Whatever, you don’t get to scold me like that.” Yuri said but there was no real emotion to what he was saying. “Beka really left?”

“He was going to. Phichit’s trying to make him stay.” JJ explained, slowly trying to relax himself after blowing up like that.

“I didn’t mean to tell him to leave. I just got mad and yelled at him. He never yells back at me like you just did.” Yuri laughed a little but it sounded bitter, “I want him to stay. I want you to stay.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good. ‘Cuz I’m fucking terrified right now. I have no idea what the fuck is going on or why I can’t leave and why I couldn’t fucking be there today.” Yuri’s voice cracked as he spoke. He tried to ignore the tears blurring his vision and just talk, “I mean I know why. But I don’t understand any of this shit.”

“Yuri…”

“My fucking leg is broken, I can’t skate with a broken leg.” Yuri bit his lip, trying to resist the urge to let himself cry. He took a moment to compose himself, “I have to drop out. I can’t skate anymore this season.”

JJ didn’t know what to say. ‘There’s always next season’ was a horrible way to comfort someone, so he wanted to avoid that one at all costs. Next season didn’t take care of what was happening right now. Right now, Yuri couldn’t skate. Right now, he was dropping out of the competition because he was forced to. JJ chose not to skate in the previous competition but the decision had always been his to make. Yuri couldn’t make the decision for himself.

“How bad is it?” JJ asked cautiously.

“Bad. I think it’s really bad. Um...on top of the broken leg, they say I sprained my wrist and I had a concussion but...that’s really not that big of a deal. I have some scars and bruises but the doctor said those will heal just fine. I just got really unlucky and my side of the car got the worst of it all.” Yuri let out a shaky sigh, “I don’t understand why this happened.”

“Sometimes there’s no reason why.” JJ said quietly, “Sometimes...the world just wants to test you for no reason.”

“Fuck the world then.” Yuri couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He felt his energy crumble and he began crying. He felt so lost now that he knew he couldn’t skate again this season. He didn’t know what to do-- he wasn’t prepared for something like this to happen. It never really crossed his mind that one day the universe could betray him like this. 

JJ gently held Yuri’s hand as he cried. He felt horrible watching Yuri break down like this but at the same time he wanted Yuri to let his feelings out. JJ felt the worst thing Yuri could do was bottle up all of his frustrations.

“I’m sorry,” Yuri managed to get out, “I’m sorry, I just don’t know what to do…”

“It’s ok.” JJ assured him. “You’ll figure it out and you’ll get through this.”

Yuri gripped his hand tightly,

“I don’t think I can.”

“You will.” JJ said, “You will because you’re one of the strongest people I know. You’re ridiculously hard working and you have more resolve than so many other skaters I know. This is just...a really shitty bump in the road but you’ll come back from this.”

JJ stayed until Yuri calmed down enough. Yuri wouldn’t admit he felt even the slightest bit better after crying but JJ didn’t need him to. He could tell Yuri was at least a little more relaxed than he had been previously. He left only when Otabek finally came back. JJ learned it was because Phichit threatened to destroy his motorcycle if he didn’t clear things up with Yuri as soon as possible.

“I don’t even know the first thing about motorcycles but I would have gone at it with a hammer if I had to.” Phichit said much later when he and JJ were on their way back to the hotel.

JJ didn’t doubt him one bit and made a mental note not to piss Phichit off. He stayed with Phichit just long enough to help him explain Yuri’s condition to Victor and Yuuri then decided it was best for him to go get Henry and head home.

Despite the other skaters leaving because the competition was over, Otabek insisted on staying until Yuri was released from the hospital. Yuri complained and yelled at him to  _ go home already _ but it was apparent he appreciated Otabek doing this for him. It was only about a week later that he was released from the hospital and on his way back to Russia.

JJ saw him and Otabek off and told them to keep in touch.

Soon enough JJ was skating at his second event and took silver at Trophee de France while Guang-Hong Ji took gold. From then on it was just worrying about the Grand Prix Finals.

He received many calls congratulating him on qualifying, even one from Isabella that made him feel a mixture of happy and sad. He missed her, but he was beginning to appreciate it when they could talk instead of sitting there and feeling completely bitter about it afterwards. Sure he was upset but it wasn’t as bad as it had been previously.

It was the day before JJ was to fly out to Marseille for the competition when he received a call from Yuri.

“You qualified.” Had been Yuri’s greeting. “Sorry I just saw.”

“It’s fine, don’t apologize.” It wasn’t a secret Yuri had been avoiding everything to do with ice skating since he returned to Russia.

“Otabek was telling me who else qualified.” Yuri said, “You’re both going to be there… And so will katsudon.”

“Finding it hard to route for just one of us?” JJ teased.

“Fuck no, I’m routing for Beka.” Yuri said immediately, “I want you to get silver though, if it’s any consolation.”

“You’re no fun. What if I win gold anyways?”

“Then I’m shoving my cast up your ass to get revenge for Otabek. After that I’ll congratulate you though.”

“Better get the cast ready for the glory that is my ass.”

“...You just said that, but I’m going to pretend you didn’t.”

“My ass is great, what can I say? Have you _ seen _ it in costume?”

“We are  _ not _ going to sit here and talk about your ass, Leroy!!”

“We totally are because my ass is the best. I mean, Chris has an ok ass but mine is far better. I have this really great picture of myself in shorts, you should see it sometime. Shows off my ass just right.”

“I feel like I’ve seen this picture before thanks to your stupid fan club always posting pictures….”

“Oh the one that shows off my tattoo, right? You know, I really think the tattoo helps pull my look together...makes my ass look juicy.”

“ _ Jesus fucking-- goodbye JJ, _ ”

“Aww you’re hanging up?”

“Yes!! I’m not here to talk about your ass all day! Bye, I’ll see you at the Grand Prix Final.”

“Wait you’ll be there?”

“I’m going to support Beka. That’s all.”

“...You know the press will be all over you--”

“Fuck the press. I’m not answering any of their shitty questions. I’m not letting this stupid injury stop me from being there for my friend.”

“I’ll see you there then, Yuri.”

“See you there.”

The next day JJ flew to France for the competition. Phichit happened to be the first person he ran into in Marseille; the two stuck together until they came across everyone else. After finding Yuuri and Victor, Phichit broke away in favor of talking their ears off. JJ didn’t mind. He was looking forward to spending time with Otabek and Yuri anyways.

Yuri looked much better than the last time JJ saw him. The bruises and scars were gone and it was good to see him up and about. He had crutches and a cast still, which Yuri explained was because he further injured himself after returning to Russia. Otherwise the cast should have been off by then.

“It was a stupid mistake and I fell.” Yuri explained when JJ asked. “But it’s only on for another week and then I’m never wearing one of these again.”

The rest of the evening was spent talking about the competition and Yuri ended up being far more involved than JJ thought he’d be. He was pleasantly surprised by how eager Yuri was to give his thoughts on the competitors this year and how he encouraged JJ and Otabek to do their best.

“So, since we’re all here now.” JJ began, “Who do you think will win?”

“Anyone could win.” Yuri said, shrugging. “I’ve caught up and watched all of your performances so to me, anyone could win. Guang-Hong needs to be careful though. If he messes up too much his program doesn’t have enough going for him that he can recover easily.”

“You seem really into this.”

“I can’t skate but that doesn’t mean I’m not paying attention. These are some people that could easily be here again when I come back. I need to know what to expect in the future.”

“Is there any information on when you’ll be able to skate again? JJ asked.

Yuri shrugged.

“Nothing but guesses and every doctor has their own opinion.” He sighed and shook his head, “For professionals they’re really stupid. The only thing they agree on is it wasn’t bad enough to keep me from skating competitively in the future.”

“That’s good news though.”

“I guess. I still wish I could kick all your asses here. It’s weird being in the audience for this after skating for so long.”

“And winning.” Otabek reminded him.

“Yeah, and winning gold two years in a row. Suck it, Canada.” Yuri smirked.

“I’ve won bronze twice before.” JJ reminded him.

“You gonna step up this year then?”

“I have to, I’m skating for my son this year.”

Yuri made a gagging noise.

“Too sentimental. I can’t handle this much sap.”

“Good luck then, JJ.” Otabek said with a small smile. “No matter what happens tomorrow I’m sure one day your son will look back on your hard work and be proud of you.”

“I’m dying.” Yuri complained, leaning against Otabek. “You two are killing me.”

“Thanks Otabek.” JJ said smiling, ignoring Yuri, “Good luck to you too.”

The next morning was the first day of the Grand Prix Finals. JJ went first and managed to stay calm this time around despite feeling like there was so much more on his shoulders. No one was putting pressure on him but he felt the need to do so much better than he ever had before. He wanted to show everyone and prove to himself he could win. He ended up beating his personal best for his short program scores.

Phichit not only bested his own personal score, but took the lead when he skated. Guang-Hong made a few mistakes that kept him from beating Phichit or JJ, but he still managed to impress the crowd and his fellow skaters. Watching Georgi skate was by far the most unique experience JJ had ever been through. Yuuri delivered a nearly flawless performance, beating JJ as the placeholder for second. Finally, Otabek skated a perfect program but only got enough points to secure third.

JJ wasn’t in the rankings by the end of the first day but the free skate could still win him first place if he did well enough. Returning to his hotel room that night, JJ spent his time with Henry, telling his son he’d do everything he could to secure first place. Henry didn’t understand the significance of anything JJ was saying but in a way, it kind of relaxed JJ. There was no pressure from his son even though JJ was working so hard for him.

“You’re lucky you don’t understand anything about first place or second place…” JJ told his son, “Things get really scary when you’re out there skating for everyone to see. But I’m gonna work really hard tomorrow. I won’t make any mistakes while I’m out there, I promise.”

His son couldn’t say words of encouragement but the happy noises he made were enough to get JJ ready for the free skate.

The second day everyone else’s programs seemed to rush by. JJ could hardly focus on the points his competitors were scoring. He knew Otabek started in first and so far stayed in first. When it was time for JJ to skate, he did so with everything he could. He made just enough mistakes to cost him first place, but he took home his first silver in the Grand Prix Finals.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ is willing to switch things up completely if it means this year he can win gold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry this took so long to update. This fic is not dead and it never will be, no matter how long it takes to update. I just didn't know how to get where I needed to be in the story, but hopefully this is a satisfactory return to the story! This chapter was unfortunately not beta read since I wanted to push it out as soon as I could!

The gala came and went, and in no time at all JJ was back home with Henry. He knew in the back of his mind winning silver had been a great accomplishment, but he couldn’t help but feel disappointed that he didn’t win gold. It seemed so close yet so far at the same time. He thought for sure this had been his year, but he guessed he’d just have to do something different next year.

 _Something different…_ JJ thought to himself. What could he do that he hadn’t done before? He knew he was stuck a lot in his own ways, and he knew his parents could tell he was doing everything he could to win. He needed an outside perspective, to him that could easily provide the advice or ideas needed to wow the audience and judges into getting the gold medal.

He didn’t waste time thinking long and hard about how to do things this year. He had a few ideas, and in the weeks following the competition he had to have shared at least fifteen different ideas with his parents and talked them out in great detail. JJ didn’t want to waste time or effort, he wanted to completely throw himself into his skating this year if he could.

He was thankful, however, for a small relief from overthinking the outcome of the finale when Isabella came over to visit. Things were still a bit tense, but they seemed to get better every time they were able to get together. JJ could tell she adored Henry, even if she had chosen not to raise him herself.

“He’s getting big!” She was saying as she held him. “Am I doing this right?”

“Mmhm, you’re doing just fine, Bella.” JJ couldn’t help but have a small smile on his face as he watched her with Henry.

“How did he do at the competitions?”

“He was alright for the most part. He started crying when the crowds got too loud, but we expected that. Lucky for me, he calms down quickly.”

Isabella smiled fondly at Henry, who looked at her curiously.

“I saw your performance recently. Sorry I wasn’t able to be there in person… I was travelling with my parents and the flights got delayed…” Isabella said, “I really did mean to be there.”

“It’s fine, Bella. There’s always next time, if you want to be there.”

“Of course I want to be there! Now that I’m done travelling for a while, I’m hoping to be around so we can do this more often...I really do miss you.”

“I miss you too…”  JJ said softly. “Um, but I think it’ll be good if you’re around. That way Henry can figure out something to call you.”

“Oh! How is he with words? I honestly have no clue when kids are supposed to start saying things…”

“He’s still learning how to say real words.  I think the most progress we’ve made is him almost saying ‘dad’ a few times. He pretty much gets out half the word before giving up.”

Isabella hummed in response and handed Henry over to JJ since he seemed to be getting restless. It took JJ a minute, but soon Henry calmed down.

“I should probably get him ready for a nap soon. It’s about that time for him…” JJ said, mostly to himself.

Isabella watched closely as JJ got Henry ready to sleep, impressed by how quickly he seemed to have gotten good at this. She remembered the first few times they’d gotten together after Henry was born and how much he’d needed his parents help but now it seemed like he did everything without even thinking about it. It was hard not being with him, but she couldn’t help but feel happy JJ had Henry. He seemed happy and knowing how much he cared for Henry made her glad JJ hadn’t given up raising him just to stay with her.

“He seems really happy with you,” She said quietly, once JJ had gotten Henry to sleep.

“I hope he is… He’s difficult sometimes, but it looks like he was on his best behavior for you.” JJ smiled, just a bit.

“I seem to have that effect on people.” Isabella teased, “Seriously though. You’re doing amazing… I don’t know how you have time for it all, being a parent and skating at the same time.”

“It isn’t easy but I’m passionate about both of those things so I make it work. This year I’m really trying to better myself as a skater, but I need to make sure I never neglect Henry. It’ll be hard but I know i’ll figure it out.”

“I believe in you.”

“Thank you, Isabella. I...I actually really needed to hear that.” JJ admitted.

“Do you have any ideas for this season?” Isabella asked, “Any themes or types of music you want to use?”

“Nothing that concrete. I’m still thinking everything through and looking back on my previous programs… But there’s one thing I’m seriously considering.”

“What would that be?”

“I’m thinking of asking another skater to help coach me this season.”

A few weeks later, JJ made his mind up. He knew exactly who he wanted to ask for help, he just had to pick up the phone and do it. Henry was fast asleep and he’d already taken the time zones into account. This was the perfect time to call. Now he just had to do it.

He sighed and pressed ‘call’ then waited for them to pick up.

“Leroy?” Yuri’s voice on the other line was a relief for JJ to hear.

“Hey, Yuri, are you free to talk for a bit?” JJ asked, hoping to get straight to business.

“Yeah, I’m not really doing much right now. What is it?”

“I have something serious to ask you. And before I ask, I just want you to know there’s no pressure and you can say no and I won’t bring it up again.”

“...Alright...you’re kind of worrying me, but go on.”

“Yuri… This season I was wondering if you’d help coach me.”

There was a beat of silence that was tense enough to make anxiety bubble up in JJ’s chest. It wasn’t a comfortable feeling, and the more the silence dragged on, the worse he felt.

“You...JJ, you’re really asking me this?” Yuri asked, quietly.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“You won’t bullshit with me when I screw up.” JJ said. “You’re talented and dedicated. You’re one of the most hard working skaters I’ve known. You won gold twice now, you know what you’re doing. I can learn from you, I know I can.”

“...I’ve never done anything like that before. I’ve never coached anyone.”

“I know…”

“Why didn’t you ask Victor? He’s coached before and he’s got more experience.”

“ _Victor isn’t you, Yuri_. There’s something about you that makes me fully confident in whichever direction you’d point me in.” JJ admitted. “There’s only one option if I ask a skater to do this for me, and it’s you.”

There was another small moment of silence before Yuri spoke up again.

“You know, I never thought you’d call asking me to coach you.”

“I’m sorry… I know this seems random but I’ve thought about it for weeks.”

“And you still have that much faith in me?” Yuri came off sounding more insecure than he intended, but truly he’d never thought in a thousand years another skater would be asking this of him. He was about to turn eighteen, he was younger than most of his competitors so of course he didn’t expect them to view him as coach material.

“I do,” JJ said, completely serious. “I think it’d take some adjusting for both of us and we’d both need to get used to it, but I seriously think this could work.”

“...I’d have to come to Canada to coach you. Did you think of that?”

JJ mentally cursed himself.

“...I’ll pay your travel expenses.”

“So you didn’t.”

“I was so focused on the actual training aspect of everything that I may have overlooked it…”

“I can’t exactly ask you to come train in Russia with your one year old son now, can I.” Yuri snapped. “So I’d have to spend months in Canada. Maybe even half the year, depending on when you wanted me there.”

JJ was silent this time, biting his lip while he tried to think of something to say to defuse the situation.

“So I’d need to pack enough to stay for a few months in Canada, I’d need the pay for the tickets, and please tell me you at least thought about where I’d stay? JJ you said you thought about this for weeks and you overlooked some really important parts to this plan of yours.”

“I-I know, I see that--”

“We need to figure this out so we have a plan when I get there.” Yuri said.

“...Wait, you’re serious?”

“Yeah, I mean… You asked for this.”

“You really want to coach me?”

“I mean I’m not going to pass up the opportunity. I can’t skate competitively this year, but this will make sure I’m still getting experience I can use for next year.” Yuri explained. “Besides when you win, that makes me look great.”

“Yuri...thank you, I really can’t thank you enough.”

“Thank me when we win you the gold medal.”

“Right, right. So…”

“Travel expenses. You don’t have to pay for it, but if I’m going to stay in a hotel for a few months, you might have to help with that.”

“I have a spare room at my apartment.” JJ said before he could think better of it and stop himself. “I-I mean...if you don’t mind staying with me. You definitely don’t have to.”

“It saves money for both of us.” Yuri said, “But only if you think it’s a good idea. You have a kid, I don’t want to mess things up with your kid.”

“He really doesn’t care about people being over here. In fact, I think he likes it when there’s new people around.”

“I guess that makes sense. I’d get excited to be around new people if I had to put up with you all the time. I bet he’s sick and tired of your face by now.”

“Cruel!” JJ said dramatically. “Also, my face is beautiful, so it’s impossible to get tired of it. Just so you know.”

“I guess I’ll be testing that theory while I’m living with you.” Yuri sighed, “Narcissist.”

“I’ve been called worse. Alright, so I’ll have the room ready for you. When do you think would be the best time for you to fly out?”

“As soon as possible, honestly. I need time to get used to the whole coaching thing and I need to learn how you already work throughout the year…”

“How’s two weeks from now sound?”

“That should give me enough time to get everything sorted on my end.”

“Great! This went...really well. Thank you again.”

“Really it’s nothing to thank me for. This is good for me too, like I said. So if everything goes right, I’ll see you by March tenth?”

“Yeah, the tenth sounds fine to me.” JJ said. “Keep me updated with everything so I know what’s going on, and tell me exactly when I’d need to pick you up from the airport.”

“Alright. I’ll talk to you later, I need to tell Yakov and my grandfather what I’ll be doing.”

The two said their goodbyes and hung up. JJ couldn’t help but feel extremely happy with how the conversation had gone. Yuri was really going to help him this year. This was it, he _had_ to win gold. He had to work harder than he ever had before for this. No more mistakes, no more excuses. This was going to be his year.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri arrives in Canada to help JJ prepare for the upcoming season.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday Update!!! Hope everyone enjoys this chapter. We're finally getting to the parts of the story I really wanted to be at!

Yuri’s plane landed at some ungodly hour in the morning. JJ was honestly surprised with himself; he’d managed to stay up and wait patiently for Yuri without feeling too tired at all. He would be thankful when they made it back to his place though, staying up too late could seriously mess up his schedule if he wasn’t careful.

JJ looked at the crowd of people who’d gotten off the flight and tried to find Yuri. Despite him growing ever so slightly taller every time JJ saw him, it seemed he was still too short to spot in a crowd easily. He vaguely wondered if she should have brought a cheesey sign with him like in the movies. Luckily he didn’t have to wait much longer before Yuri found him instead.

Yuri was speaking angry Russian into his phone as he walked over to JJ. The blonde looked more than a little irritated so JJ just waved a little before helping him with his bags. The pair walked over to the taxi JJ had ready as Yuri finished up his phone call.

“Victor is fucking annoying.” Yuri said, hanging up on Victor mid sentence. “You’d think my grandfather would be the one calling and asking me how everything went but no, Victor has to get into my business every fucking chance he has.”

“I’m sorry?” JJ said, raising an eyebrow. “I agree Victor can be annoying but at least he’s showing he cares about you.”

“No he’s not, he’s showing how fucking annoying he is.” Yuri muttered.

JJ stifled a laugh as they got into the car. Yuri stretched out as best he could in the back of the small taxi and while he didn’t have much space, it was more than the plane had allowed for.

“Thank god I’m off that plane.”

“Tough travels?” JJ asked.

“I guess you could say that.” Yuri sighed and closed his eyes. “I’m ready to sleep on a bed. You do have a bed for me, right?”

“No, you’re sleeping on the floor, sorry.” JJ said sarcastically. “Of course I got a bed for you. I’m not that bad of a host.”

Yuri mumbled something JJ couldn’t understand, probably something in Russian.

“I’m surprised you’re awake still.” Yuri said after a moment. “It’s what, three in the morning for you. For us now, I guess.”

“I can manage a long night every now and then.”

Yuri scoffed.

“You sound like such a dad when you say things like that.”

“I am a dad,”

“You know what I mean.” Yuri was quiet for a second as he seemed to try to figure out how to say what he wanted to say. “You sound old.”

“I’m in my twenties!” JJ objected.

“You’re older than me, so you’re old. I don’t make the rules, sorry.”

JJ rolled his eyes but said nothing in his defense. He let Yuri doze off for the rest of the ride and only woke him when he realized they were about five minutes from his place. Yuri woke back up reluctantly but seemed to stay conscious enough to get some of his bags ready.

They managed to get inside quickly enough even with Yuri’s many bags that honestly were way heavier than they looked. JJ wondered what the hell he had in half of these things but said nothing for the moment. Yuri was way too tired to give an intelligent sounding answer anyways.

JJ showed Yuri to his room and helped set his luggage down. It wasn’t anything impressive-- simple sheets on the bed, bland curtains, a nightstand, and a dresser. Yuri didn’t care, he was far more occupied with the bed. He dropped his bags and walked right to it, flopping himself down on it gracelessly. JJ laughed a little at the display.

“I take it you’ll be sleeping now. Sleep well, I’ll show you around more in the morning.”

Yuri only hummed in response so JJ left him to it.

In the morning JJ woke up slightly later than usual but he’d expected that much. He forced himself out of bed and went to check on Henry. Henry was still asleep but that could change any minute. Quietly, JJ closed the door again and made his way to the kitchen where he found Yuri waiting for him at the table.

Yuri didn’t seem to be awake for much longer than JJ had been. He was in his clothes from yesterday and his hair was a complete mess, but he didn’t seem to care right then.

“Morning.” Yuri said, voice still a bit scratchy from sleeping.

“Good morning. Want any breakfast?”

“Sure.”

“Coffee?”

“...Yeah, I think I’m gonna need it…”

JJ prepared them both a small meal before sitting at the kitchen table with Yuri.

“Sleep well?”

“I guess.”

“We should probably spend the day getting you settled in.” JJ suggested.

Yuri nodded and took a sip from his coffee, scrunching his face up slightly at the bitterness.

“After you’re slightly more awake you can go ahead and shower. I’ll have to wake Henry up soon anyways, if he doesn’t wake up first. Then I can help you unpack if you want.”

“Sure.” Yuri nodded and yawned. “I’m gonna need help unpacking everything I brought…”

“What, did you bring like half your room from Russia?”

“No, but I did decide to bring more than necessary. If I’m going to be your coach, I have to look the part and I honestly have no idea what that’s _ supposed _ to look like. So I overpacked just in case something doesn’t work.”

“Well...at least you’re taking this seriously.”

“Of course I’m taking this seriously. I might not be the one skating, but how successful you are this season reflects on me, too. I need you to perform at least on par with how you normally are, and I need to look good. This could be a game changer for my skating career.”

“No pressure…”

Yuri scoffed.

“Please. No more pressure than normal. If I mess up it’s on me. If you fail this season, no one will blame you.”

“Still, I’m not trying to be responsible for people looking down on you.”

Yuri frowned and shrugged.

“Some people already do because of my injury.” There was a small moment of silence before Yuri shook his head and looked down at the table. “But that’s fine. I’ll show them how undermining me will go for them.”

“That’s the spirit.”

JJ tried to smile, but the whole thing was bittersweet. Yuri was only able to help because of his injury. He knew how much Yuri would rather be competing against JJ this year rather than helping him like this. Still, he tried to remind himself Yuri agreed to this and it was beneficial for them both, if things really went well.

“So what are the limitations with your injury? Will you be able to practice with me?” JJ asked.

“I should be able to practice regularly. My doctors said to avoid jumps for another month or so, but eventually I’ll be able fine. There’s nothing preventing me from really trying to get a routine down with you, though.”

“That’s good!”

Yuri hummed.

“How does your normal routine go? Not just skating either, if I’m going to stay here I need to know what to expect.”

“Well...most mornings are pretty dedicated to Henry. I have to wake him up, feed him, bathe him, sometimes calm him down if he’s throwing a fit. After that, lately I’ve been getting my parents to help watch him while I’m at the rink. Isabella should be visiting on the weekends--”

“Isabella?”

“Yeah...she’s back from travelling. She’ll be around a little more. On some weekends she even volunteered to look after Henry.”

The look on Yuri’s face was hard to decipher. It wasn’t exactly anger-- something more like anger mixed with disappointment. JJ tilted his head curiously.

“Why the look?”

“I just didn’t realize she wanted to be in the picture now.”

“Well, she’s kind of able to come and go as she pleases. That’s the agreement we had. Regardless, I have full custody of Henry, but she doesn’t want to be away from his life completely.”

“How noble of her.” Yuri spat.

“Hey--” JJ was cut off by the sound of Henry crying from his room before he could properly respond to Yuri’s comment. He calmed himself, taking a deep sigh before standing up. “That’s my cue. Look, we can finish this discussion later. Or not. We don’t have to.”

Yuri nodded slowly.

“Go take care of Henry. I’m going to go clean up.”

“Gotcha.”

Henry was exceptionally fussy this morning. JJ couldn’t really figure out what had gotten into him, but he was a kid. Sometimes things just upset them for no reason. He vaguely wondered if it was Yuri being there but quickly crossed that idea off the list of possibilities. Henry didn’t even know Yuri was there yet. And if he did that meant his kid was some kind of psychic. That would be pretty cool, but it was also completely unrealistic.

Once Henry finally calmed down, JJ waited for Yuri to emerge from his room. Yuri was definitely a flashy dresser, if his two outfits JJ had seen him in thus far were anything to go by. Lots of animal print so far, but JJ found he couldn’t complain. It actually worked well with Yuri.

After Yuri seemed more settled in, JJ took his turn to clean himself up and then decided to get back to business. While Henry took his nap, JJ helped Yuri unpack.

“After today I’ll get back into what I usually do. Mornings with Henry, majority of the day skating, all that. I’ll show you some good places nearby, too. There’s one really good takeout place that I honestly eat more than I should…”

“Alright, sounds like a good enough plan. We can start figuring out how this whole thing is going to work, too.”

“Right.” JJ paused for a moment. “I guess I gotta get used to taking orders from you, huh?”

“Damn right.”

“Could be worse, I guess. It could be Georgi.”

“Oh my god don’t even _ joke _ about that.  _ No _ .” Yuri let out a small laugh then gave JJ a bitter smile. “It could be Victor. He’s worse than Georgi. I can vouch for that.”

“Oh?” JJ probably shouldn’t prompt Yuri to trash a fellow skater, but he really was curious as to what Yuri’s issue with Victor was. Victor was definitely a bit flaky, excitable, and flashy, but he wasn’t exactly rude from what JJ could tell. Maybe it was simply rivalry?

“Victor is a huge asshole. I’m happy he’s not skating this year. Fuck him.”

“He’s not skating?”

Yuri froze, only now seeming to realize he probably shouldn’t have dropped that news on JJ.

“Uh, yeah, he’s considering retirement. He’s old.”

“He’s what, thirty one or something, right? That’s not too bad.”

Yuri choked on a laugh.

“He’s thirty, but he definitely _ looks _ older, so I see how you made that mistake.”

“Still. He’s not that old. Why retire?”

“He’s scared of the competition, obviously.” Yuri said smugly. “No,  _ apparently _ , he wants to settle down with katsudon or some romantic bullshit. He’s so on and off about things it never matters though. He’ll probably change his mind again and skate anyways.”

“One more person we need to beat if he does skate.” JJ said. “If he skates or not, it won’t make a difference. We’ll win right?”

“...Right.” Yuri said with a small smile. “And if he doesn’t skate I’ll still be a better coach than him.”

“Of course you will be.”

The pair unpacked the majority of Yuri’s luggage and managed to get everything into the limited space he had without too many troubles. After, JJ gave him a rundown of what the plan for the next few days would be and how he’d like to approach this coming season. They still had a lot of time to prepare but JJ didn’t want to waste any time. He trusted his parents’ ideas and insight, but still wanted Yuri’s outside perspective. Yuri simply hoped that his ideas didn’t clash too much with everyone else’s.

That evening, JJ ordered from his favorite takeout place, having insisted Yuri try it as soon as possible. Afterwards Yuri spent some time getting accustomed to Henry before the kid got too tired.

“He’s cute.” Yuri decided, not long after Henry had fallen asleep. Yuri was holding him carefully, very focused on not messing this up. “When he’s not crying…”

“Kids cry, what can I say.” JJ shrugged but looked fondly at Yuri and Henry. “He likes you.”

“How can you tell?”

“I’m his father, I just know these things…”

“...It’s still so weird thinking about how you’re a dad. But then again, you basically have the whole parenting thing mastered already. I bet it came easy to you.”

JJ laughed.

“Oh my god, no, I was a mess in the beginning. I couldn’t be left alone for the first few days after Isabella had him… I had no idea what I was doing. Sure I read whatever parenting books I could get my hands on but in practice it’s...way scarier.”

“I really wouldn’t know…” Yuri admitted. “I haven’t thought about any of that at all.”

“I’ve known I wanted kids for a long time, but I never thought it’d happen so soon. I wouldn’t change this for anything though. Henry’s the best gift this world could give me.”

“...Even if Isabella left?”

JJ nodded.

“She made her choices and I made mine. We don’t have any hard feelings over it. Not anymore. It wouldn’t be productive for Henry in the future if we held grudges like that.”

“...Oh.” Yuri contemplated what to say for a moment before looking at JJ. “I don’t agree with what Isabella did at all, but I’m...glad you don’t take it personally.”

“I did at first, but really at the end of the day...it’s just not me to be spiteful towards her. I still love her, but in a different way.”

“Not as a girlfriend then?”

“No...that ship sailed… Ah, but I’m not losing hope for the future. I’m a giant chick magnet, I already know that.”

“Christ, I try to have a sentimental conversation with you and this is the result?” Yuri sighed heavily. “I should have known better.”

JJ rolled his eyes, smirking.

“You’re just jealous my fan club is bigger than yours.”

“I don’t care. My fan club is annoying and distracting.”

“No love for the fans!” JJ said dramatically. “What kind of skater are you? I’m sure thousands of girls hearts just broke.”

“They can’t even hear us!” Yuri whisper yelled, careful not to wake Henry.

“Kidding, kidding. Anyway I better get kiddo to bed. Hand him over slowly, ok?”

Yuri nodded and focused on very slowly and gently handing Henry back to JJ. Henry only struggled a little in his sleep before relaxing again once he was in JJ’s arms.

“I’m gonna get some sleep too, actually. We have a busy day tomorrow.”

“Right,” Yuri nodded and stood. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri officially begins coaching JJ!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm horrible at being consistent with updates but I was on a real bad block with this chapter. It's slowly getting where I need it to be though! Enjoy!

The following day marked Yuri’s first official day as a coach. The two decided that after Henry was taken care of, they’d spend the majority of the day at the rink so Yuri could get used to JJ’s routine and see if he wanted JJ to change anything or try anything right away. After they got ready and Henry was with JJ’s parents, they headed down to the rink JJ practiced at.

JJ noticed Yuri didn’t bring his skates with him but said nothing. He wasn’t expecting Yuri to practice with him regularly just yet. His leg was still healing so it made sense to him he wouldn’t be skating. Even if he wanted to skate with Yuri, he’d just have to wait. It would be better if they waited for Yuri to be fully healed, he figured.

“So...you practice mostly on your own?” Yuri asked as they walked inside the rink. “I guess the privacy will be nice.”

“Right, Yakov coached a lot of different skaters, didn’t he?”

“Mhm. We usually practiced together and his attention was always split between other skaters. So it’s a good thing I only have you to worry about. I have a feeling my hands are going to be full.”

“Cruel.” JJ said, feigning offense.

Yuri scoffed.

“Please. You’re one of the most dramatic people I’ve met.  _ Luckily _ it doesn’t bleed into your programs as much as it does with Christophe or Georgi.”

“I like to think I have more self restraint.” JJ admitted, “But I do like feeling involved with my programs. You know, helping with music and all that.”

“I guess since we’re on the topic of programs I should ask if you have any ideas for what you want to do this season. I know it’s early but the sooner we get an idea the sooner we can work on perfecting it.”

“I don’t have anything solid, if I’m being honest. I’ve been going back and looking at my old programs a lot lately and trying to see what I was good at, what I needed to improve on… But so far no real luck with a theme or anything.”

Yuri was silent for a moment, deep in thought. He knew he would have to consider what JJ was good at and what he was bad at, but at the end of the day he wanted something different and challenging for JJ to pull off. But if he went too far with it...he’d be setting them both up for failure. That was the last thing he wanted.

“Alright. Well...we have time. For now just show me what you’ve been working on improving so I know what we need to improve.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

Yuri waited patiently for JJ to warm up and get ready. He scrolled through his phone a bit, ignoring some messages from Victor and Yakov. He’d told them he was spending time in Canada for a while but not why. Naturally Victor was curious and Yakov needed to know the likelihood of him practicing in Russia at all this season. He couldn’t just say “not very” without raising questions he didn’t feel like answering right now.

“Ready when you are, coach.” JJ said, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Right, right.” Yuri mumbled, then paused. “Hey wait, come here for a second.”

“Ok?” JJ skated over to where Yuri was sitting in the stands and stood there with a curious look on his face.

Yuri stood and walked over to him, getting his phone camera ready.

“You want to take a picture?” JJ asked.

“Yeah, to remember the first day of practice and all.” Yuri said. “You’re not telling me you of all people want to pass on a selfie…”

“No, no! I’m all for it! It’s kind of sentimental, really.”

JJ gave his signature pose as Yuri took the picture. He didn’t pay any mind to the fact Yuri was still messing around on his phone and skated a bit away from the stands.

“You know, now that you mention that it’s the first day of practice with you as my coach… I realize neither of us have really made a formal announcement yet.”

“Yeah.”

“We should probably think of when to do that.”

“Hmm.”

“I mean, I’m sure the press will be all over it once they find out…”

“Right.”

JJ frowned and looked over at Yuri.

“Doesn’t that make you nervous? Are you listening?”

Yuri tossed his phone aside and leaned on the rail to the rink.

“I’m listening. Oh, by the way I just made the announcement on Twitter. It was a good picture, it would be a shame if it went to waste.”

“Yuri!”

“What? Victor and Yakov were asking questions and I don’t feel like dealing with them. Plus, it was distracting me. I don’t need to be distracted and if you started getting distracted by it too it would have been a problem. Now it’s done.” Yuri shrugged. “So no need to be nervous about it right?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works?” JJ argued. “You really do lack any grace outside of the rink don’t you? Using  _ Twitter  _ to announce something as big as this! Jesus!”

“You used Instagram to announce Isabella was pregnant. Don’t judge me.”

“Hey-- That’s different!”

“Not really.” Yuri mumbled, “Now skate. I didn’t fly all the way out here to argue which social media site is better for announcement making.”

JJ sighed, shaking his head.

“You really aren’t bothered by the fact that it’s just...out there?”

“No. Not at all. JJ, they were going to find out sooner or later and I’d rather just get it over with. I don’t care about the press and if they ask questions then I’ll handle it. I’m your coach now so don’t worry about these things. It’s on me, not you.”

“You’re right… Sorry, Yuri. Sometimes these things give me more anxiety than they should…”

Yuri gave him a soft look that JJ honestly couldn’t recall having seen from him before.

“That’s fine. I understand that kind of thing, so that’s why I’m saying I’ll handle it. I want you to be able to focus on your performance this year without worrying about the small things.”

JJ gave him a small smile.

“Thanks, Yuri. It means a lot.”

“Don’t thank me, it’s kind of my job now.” Yuri slouched against the rail and motioned for him to move. “Now start practicing already!”

JJ tended to give off an aura that skating came to him easily during his programs. He knew how to have fun with it and generally look like his programs were as easy as breathing. It was good for Yuri, because he knew JJ could pull off the confidence Yuri might lack. On the other hand JJ’s whole persona of being overconfident and all about himself was what initially turned Yuri off from JJ.

Yuri recognized when JJ began going into an old routine. It was his free skate from two years ago when Yuri won his first gold. He remembered that year when JJ choked and almost butchered his whole program… That couldn’t happen this year. Not if they were serious about gold. He wasn’t choking now though, and seemed to have the whole thing perfected at this point.

He couldn’t think of anything he wanted JJ to change by the end of the day but there were a few suggestions he wanted to make as more of an experiment than anything. He wanted to see what range of emotion JJ could pull off with his skating. He could pull of arrogance too easily so Yuri wanted to go for something softer. He motioned for JJ to come over to him at the end of practice.

“What’s up?”

“You remember my first year at the Grand Prix, right?”

“Kind of hard to forget. You wiped the floor with all of us.”

“I want you to try my Agape program.”

“Wha--? Really?”

“Mhm. I’m curious to see if you can pull it off.”

JJ raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t think I can handle it, huh?”

“No, I think you can learn the steps but I doubt your ability to convey the emotion.” Yuri said, completely honest. “I just want to spend the next week or so on it. By the end hopefully I’ll have an idea of what to do with you this season.”

“You’re nothing if not brutally honest.” JJ sighed, “Fine. I accept the challenge! I’ll blow you away with how sappy I can get for the Agape program.”

“Good. I’ll hold you to that then.”

While JJ cleaned himself up after practice, Yuri did some damage control on his earlier announcement. Of course the post had blown up. There were a ton of messages and calls from other skaters, asking when this happened and what he was thinking accepting this kind of position. There were a lot of people doubting he could do it, too.

After JJ was ready the pair left to pick up Henry and talk further about practice going forward. JJ got Yuri’s old program ready to watch and studied it a bit while they waited for dinner to arrive. Yuri had liked the takeout from the night before so much he practically demanded to have it again.

Yuri disappeared to his room for a while, leaving JJ to think on what Yuri had told him before. He really doubted that JJ could pull off the emotional aspect of the program? It didn’t hurt JJ’s feelings or anything, but it did make him think a bit about all of his previous programs. He’d never done anything that could be described as soft before...but that didn’t mean he couldn’t pull it off. He was fully confident that if he applied himself he could do it. He’d have to do it for Yuri to believe in him this season…

After a bit he found himself reviewing more of Yuri’s programs. Some of them fit his personality more than others but he always made a convincing performance. If the music was sad, he’d look devastated. If it was romantic, he’d be love stricken. Loud and angry music allowed for the more moody and dramatic side of Yuri that was closer to who he really was. JJ realized he had a comfort zone after watching all of Yuri’s programs over. He  _ had _ to step out of that comfort zone this year.

“Someone’s working hard.” Yuri’s voice caught JJ off guard.

He jumped and noticed Yuri peeking over his shoulder to view his laptop.

“Is that Welcome to the Madness?” Yuri asked, giving JJ a curious look.

JJ quickly placed his laptop aside and fake coughed.

“Youtube was on autoplay, that’s all.” He lied, “But yes...it was.”

Yuri hummed and moved to take a seat next to JJ.

“I wish I could have done more programs like that… It felt good to be wild in front of all of those people.”

“It definitely took people by surprise. Your whole theme felt so soft and then bam! You were skating to some crazy rock music.”

“Yakov wanted to strangle me.” Yuri said, laughing. “He wanted me to do this classical or ballet themed program. I was sick of it. I already won so I got Beka to help me make something that felt more...me. It was great.”

“I think one of the biggest differences between how we skate is that I get to be myself on the ice more than you do.” JJ observed. “So when you do something crazy and flashy, it’s unexpected but everyone eats it up. When I do something like that, it’s expected now.”

“I agree.”

“I’ve gotten too comfortable doing that. So I’m going to nail your Agape program and show you I’m capable of a lot more than what I’ve shown everyone.”

“Show me that and this season will be a lot more interesting than your previous ones. I promise you that.” Yuri said, smirking.

JJ couldn’t help but feel a bit excited. Yuri wasn’t going to underestimate him, he was going to challenge him. JJ found he was looking forward to this season more than ever. With Yuri as his coach he felt he’d have everything he need to wow the audience and judges this year. This was going to be his year. He could feel it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Agape isn't going as well as JJ and Yuri hoped and it leads to a bit of an argument between the two.

JJ didn’t regret asking Yuri to help… Not at all, but damn he was coming close to biting Yuri’s head off. A week and a half of practicing the Agape program and Yuri couldn’t seem to come up with a single bit of praise for him. This was turning into a disaster that JJ didn’t know how to fix.  Things between them were fine off the ice but the second JJ began skating, it was just “that’s wrong” “do it like this” “you aren’t doing it right”

“Leroy you’re off again.” Yuri shouted, making JJ stop in his tracks.

JJ let out a heavy breath, trying to keep himself calm. Yelling at Yuri for pointing out his mistakes wouldn’t fix anything, he reminded himself. 

“What am I doing wrong this time?” JJ asked, trying to hide the bitterness in his tone.

“Your expression.”

“My expression.”

“You look angry, nothing at all like agape.”

“Yuri, how am I supposed to feel with you berating my performance!” JJ asked, sounding extremely stressed. “You haven’t said a single good thing about my efforts this entire week!”

“I told you the footwork was fine.”

“Once. You said that once, and then went into a whole thing about how my beat was off! You aren’t helping me figure out what I’m doing wrong by just sitting there and ridiculing me!”

Yuri frowned.

“I’m just trying to coach you. If you have a problem with that, I don’t know what to say then.”

“You could be a little nicer, that’s all.” JJ muttered, running a hand through his hair roughly. He looked away from Yuri, scowling. “I’m taking a break.”

“JJ--”

“Just...give me five and I’ll be fine. I just need to step away from the situation right now and cool off.”

Yuri sighed and let JJ go. He hadn’t meant to come off as rude. Surely JJ knew that… Yuri was new to coaching and he knew he had to point out what he thought JJ lacked in or wasn’t doing right. He’d figured JJ could understand what he was doing right without needing to be told too much but he’d been wrong.

While JJ took his break, Yuri took a seat and grudgingly dialed Yuuri’s number. The other man picked up within seconds.

“Yuri! It’s good to hear from you.” Katsuki’s voice on the other side of the phone seemed light and relaxed.

Yuri huffed.

“Is Victor around you? Who am I kidding of course he’s around.”

“No, actually I’m alone right now. Why? Did you need him?”

“No I needed him to not stick his fucking nose into this conversation. Anyways… I hate that I’m calling you but I need...advice.”

“Alright… Well, I can try to help out. What’s up?”

“It’s JJ…” Yuri mumbled. “I think I upset him.”

Yuuri hummed on the other end of the phone.

“I don’t know how to make it up to him.” Yuri clarified. “I guess I’ve kind of been an asshole of a coach and I don’t want to mess this up.”

“This really sounds like a question for Victor if it’s a coaching issue.”

“It’s not. It’s an emotional issue and Victor is blind as fuck when it comes to almost everyone who isn’t you. You cry all the damn time so I figured you were in touch with your emotions more. If you can’t help me I’ll ask someone else.”

“Yuri...that right there is kind of a problem.”

“Hah?”

“You shut people down and snap at them a lot. I haven’t been there but I’ll bet you’ve done it to JJ a few times when coaching him. You point out a lot of negative parts of a person but rarely say anything nice…”

“That’s not…” Yuri couldn’t finish. It was kind of true. “Ok well. How do I make up for shit like that.”

“Listen to what JJ has to say. Talk it out with him and maybe do something nice for him to show you know you messed up. Like...if he has a favorite food or something like that?”

“Ok...I’ll try to talk to him and keep my temper in check.”

“Good! Hopefully I was able to help a little?”

Yuri frowned and shrugged, though he knew Yuuri couldn’t see it.

“I guess you did.”

“Well that’s better than nothing… Um...also, Victor’s been trying to get in touch with you--”

“I’m not calling him back so tell him to fuck off.”

“He’s just a little worried seeing how you didn’t mention any of this to us. We had to find out through social media, after all.”

“Yeah, that was kind of the point, katsudon.”

He could hear Yuuri sigh.

“I know you hold a grudge against Victor and to an extent, me, but--”

“I have to go.”

Yuri hung up and resisted the urge to throw his phone across the rink. He hadn’t noticed JJ’s return near the end of the conversation, so he didn’t bother to look like he was in a remotely good mood. He sat his phone aside harshly and sat there for a moment, glaring at the ground.

“Damn Yuri, if looks could kill.” JJ said, approaching with caution.

“Sorry.” Yuri muttered, “It’s not...about you. Just give me a moment to calm down.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

The blonde contemplated it for a second. He really wished there was someone other than Otabek he could rant to about Victor and Yuuri but he didn’t feel like it was right to dump it on JJ. Especially not now. Not when they needed to talk about far more serious things. The petty stuff with those two could wait, he decided.

“No. We do need to talk though.”

“Alright, I’m all ears.”

JJ leaned against the wall close to where Yuri sat. Yuri turned to face him but ended up looking at the ground again anyways. He wasn’t sure how to handle this type of confrontation yet as a coach.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t been a very good coach to you with this whole agape situation. I know I need to point out what you’re doing wrong, but I thought you’d fill in what you were doing right. I didn’t realize I needed to say it that much.”

“You don’t have to apologize. We’re still figuring this out. I could have spoken up or asked you what I thought I was doing well a lot earlier. But, since you did say it, your apology is accepted.”

“Thanks, JJ.”

JJ offered him a smile.

“We’ll get this right. It’s our first time trying to work on a routine together so there’s bound to be a few bumps in the road.”

“I feel like you’re being more of a coach than me right now. Stop that.” Yuri joked.

“I just have the wisdom of a father.” JJ teased.

Yuri stood and shook his head.

“Let’s get back on the ice. This time I’ll do it with you ok?”

“Sounds good.” JJ paused and hummed in thought. “Actually...can you skate it by yourself for a second?”

“Uh, sure? Why?”

“So I can see in person what I need to fix.”

“Alright. I can’t do the jumps but you already know where they go.”

Yuri took to the ice and started skating. It really did make JJ happy to see the injury hadn’t hurt his performance on the ice. He was as graceful as ever. Even without the jumps, Yuri skating was just a sight to see. JJ focused on the fluidity of how he was skating, the body language, the expression on his face. It was like someone flipped a switch inside him. He was a different person on the ice and JJ loved it.

When Yuri’s demonstration came to a close he skated back over to JJ, hands on his hips. He gave him a look as if to ask what he thought.

“How do you get so calm when you skate that program?” JJ asked. “I can’t clear my mind to look like that.”

“My mind was actually racing with a bunch of shit. But I have one thing I try to focus on whenever I need to appear to the audience that I’m at peace or whatever.”

“What’s that?”

“My grandfather. He makes me happy, he’s someone I love, and he’s who I started skating for.” Yuri said, “I could be pissed the hell off during a performance but I remember who matters and it gets easier.”

“He’s really special to you…”

“Mhm.”

JJ, of course, had people who were special to him too but it had been different since Isabella left. He had Henry and he wanted Henry to be able to look back at his father’s performances and be proud but...that was so far away. Henry didn’t understand and Isabella was more something he’d look towards if he needed to emulate heartbreak.

“I don’t think I have someone like that anymore.” JJ admitted.

Yuri seemed a bit surprised by his sudden confession.

“Sorry… I was just thinking outloud. But...even if I don’t have someone like that right now, that doesn’t mean I can’t pull this off. Let’s get to it.”

The two spent a while practicing together before Yuri went off to the side again. JJ was obviously very focused but his expression had softened up a bit. Not quite to what Yuri wanted but it was getting there. He figured he could let them practice a few more days instead of starting something new. JJ was getting close, and Yuri was feeling confident that he could get there.

By the end of the week, JJ felt like he could do it. He’d put in a little extra practicing and asked a few favors from his parents and Yuri so he could practice alone for a while without having to worry about Henry, but he felt it was worth it. He felt he could skate the agape program and show the emotions needed.

Yuri decided to put a little pressure on JJ. He’d asked JJ’s parents to come to the last agape practice so JJ could perform it in front of some type of audience. Plus they were coaches too. It benefited both JJ and Yuri if they had feedback.

Henry was there, happily babbling as he sat on Nathalie’s lap. JJ was warming up while Yuri got the music ready. It was a soft tune so he hoped it wouldn’t bother Henry too much… 

Once everything was set up, JJ went to the middle of the rink. The music started and he began skating, relaxing himself while he did so. He didn’t clear his mind, but instead tried to focus on what he’d once had with Isabella. That was love, a failed love yes, but he remembered how good it felt. Isabella herself was still hard to think about but the love they’d shared? JJ wouldn’t want to forget how falling in love was. It loved being in love, and that’s what he decided would convey his agape.

His performance came to a close and he looked at Yuri and his parents expectantly. He definitely did not miss the grin on Yuri’s face. Raising an eyebrow, he skated over to them all. Henry, luckily still in a good mood, giggled happily and reached for JJ.

“So, how was I?” JJ asked, stepping out of his skates so he’d be able to hold his son safely off the ice. “Pretty good right?”

“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen so much emotion come from you when you skate, dear.” Nathalie said. She handed Henry over to JJ, smiling. “In my opinion, I’d say this whole thing was quite the success.”

“I’m glad you think so.” JJ was a bit relieved to hear that, but he turned to Yuri. “What did you think, coach?”

“I agree with your mother. You did great.” Yuri said, smiling still. “You surprised me, Leroy. I thought you could pull it off but I didn’t think you’d do that good.”

“I’m full of surprises.”

“You’d better be. Seeing you out there just now did give me a few ideas for the season though. I’m going to think them over and see which ones make the most sense but this definitely wasn’t a waste of time.”

“That’s great, Yuri!” JJ said excitedly.

Later that night Yuri and JJ sat together brainstorming. Henry was fast asleep, so the two had all the privacy they needed. Yuri mentioned a few of his ideas but they’d decided to try out one centered on love first. JJ felt most confident he could pull that one off.

“I want it to feel like you’re telling a story when you skate.” Yuri said, leaning back on the couch. “It’ll be most convincing and I think the audience will eat it up.”

“Agreed. If it’s a story about love it should be something upbeat then right?”

“No, not really. I was thinking that you should do something a bit darker. You’re always upbeat on the ice so let’s try something else.”

“That’s kind of emo.”

“What?”

“Emo.”

“Uh, sure? Whatever. Is that a no?”

JJ shook his head.

“No, it’s something new. I want to try it.”

“Alright good.”

There was a knock on JJ’s door that took them both by surprise. JJ stood, looking curiously at the door, but Yuri beat him to it. Whoever it was didn’t stay long to chat and Yuri came back with a few bags...of food.

“I forgot to mention I got you dinner from that takeout place you like so much.” Yuri said, setting the food down on the table. “Surprise?”

“Yuri, you didn’t have to do that.” JJ said, actually a bit surprised Yuri had gone through the trouble.

“I know. I wanted to. I just thought it would be good to do something for you after you worked so hard these past two weeks. So think of this as a congratulations for not fucking it up.”

JJ let out a small laugh and smiled. He thanked Yuri and the two ate while they continued chatting about ideas for the season. JJ felt like things were falling into place. They were working things out and it was going way better than he could have anticipated. Things were...good. Really, really good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are happy....too happy. I'll have to fix that...


End file.
